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Extreme Activities for Stir Crazy Kids
Back in the good old days a parent could shove a pork chop or two in their kids’ winter coat pockets, send them out to play with the local wildlife until suppertime and no one batted an eye. Unfortunately, times have changed and those days have gone the way of lawn jarts and child-sized chainsaws. […]
The Evolution of The Pee Pee Dance
When you ask a little kid if they need to go potty, 9 out of 10 times they’ll say no. Even when their bladder is entering its fourth trimester. You see, kids aren’t on speaking terms with the call of nature and can’t be bothered with boring bathroom breaks. It probably doesn’t help that they […]
Baby Sleep Positions: “The Biohazard”
People with a little baby are never “awake” or “asleep” in the black-and-white senses of the words. Parents exist in the gray area between. The varying degrees of “trying to sleep” and “fighting to stay awake.” You’re always on call. Waiting. Ready to respond. It’s very late. You’re asleep, or wrestling the ninja crocodile […]
The Diaper Changing Warzone
That first poop-filled diaper. It’s a doozy. It’s like a poop mitzvah. It separates the pros from the amateurs. I remember mine well. I feel like an aid worker on the beaches of Florida after the BP oil spill if the oil had been shot out of a human butt cannon. Those are magical times. […]
Cheating Death
In between the fun and filled-up diapers there are quieter moments in parenting. They hit you when you let your guard down. You’ll be tucking your kid in for bed or sitting on the couch watching your child watch one of your favorite shows from childhood. He’s laughing with you. You look at each other […]
Live as if Every Moment… You Were a Muppet
It’s easy to fall into routines. Routines are useful, but they can also wear ruts into the path of anyone’s life. It can be hard to stop and smell the roses or do our thinking outside of boxes. This is all too true for parents. Boxes are all that keeps us from drowning in books […]
Diaper Change Threat Condition & Awareness Chart
Some consider that one of the top rules of good parenting is preparedness. But those people are either crazy or selling something, don’t listen to them. You’re going to do a lot better as a parent if you do so from a solid foundation of reality. When it comes to the reality of your […]
5 Ways New Year’s Eve Is Just Like Being a Parent
We made it. Most of us. We made it through 2013 and we are birthed into a new year like screaming babes covered in slimy goodness into the arms of our mommies, another January. But if you’ve spent a night of debauchery ringing in the new year, I’m here to tell you: you’re qualified to […]
How to Give Gifts that Are Actually for You
Every holiday season, we shop for our kids, our family and our friends, but let’s admit it, we’re pretty frigging interested in what we might get. There are so many rad things! Gotta look out for number one, even if we’re not supposed to say that. Hmmmm… Ah ha! What if there were a way […]
Parenterms: “Awkwurchase”
Some people experience buyers remorse as they are buying something. Sucked into the inescapable gravitational pull of the purchasing process, maybe they feel they’ll look like a moron or worse, a poor person, abandoning items in front of store clerks and their fellow shoppers. Always watching. Always judging. “Ooooooo you grabbed a pack of size […]
