How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Trying to Understand WTF Kids Are Saying These Days

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Slang. Lingo. The vernacular of young people.

We had it ourselves in our youth. Rad, bitchin’, grody, hella, whatever. Our parents probably side-eyed us pretty hard when we said the words and phrases of our day.

But nowadays? Whoa. The internet is likely to blame, but it seems like slang is out of control, at like Mach 2 speed. Today’s kids use words and phrases for a month or so, where we used terms for a solid decade before they became tired or uncool.

Now we come to the point. Parents know how hard it can be to deal with kids, even when they’re being little angels. So, I can only imagine (or have nightmares) about what teachers have to deal with. If you take out the whole “I made this person” appeal kids have and then multiply it by twenty or thirty, for a pretty large part of the day… well, dang. Whether they’re young or older, it’s got to be a wild ride.

Now, that said and with all due respect, teachers can also suffer from the generational gap of wtf kids are saying.

Let’s look at this hilarious snippet from an educators guide about kid slang.

(It’s hard to read text in images, so…)


…Suppose a high school teacher overheard two friends, Lily and Sugar, talking in the school cafeteria during lunch time:

Sugar: How was your weekend?
Lily: I had a money time! The bomb and me put on our finest bling bling and went partying Saturday night. Let me tell you Suge, he’s no chickenhead. He’s a real fly!
Sugar: No kidding. I bet you two looked really cizool.
Lily: We had a crunk time until we ran into Jasmine and her do boy.
Sugar: What happened?
Lily: Well one thing led to another. Jasmine starting hissing and her do boy stabbed the bomb. So we decided to jet and click up with some classier folks.

Lily and Sugar are using language and slang expressions that have made their way from rap music and the hip-hop cultural scene into the vernacular of today’s youth. About what are the two friends talking? Who is the bomb? What does it mean to be a chickenhead? A do boy? What does it mean to have a money time? A crunk time? To stab? To jet? To click up? Suppose you were the teacher in a cafeteria and were unfamiliar with the language that the friends were using. You might jump to unwarranted conclusions about what happened Saturday night. Did someone get stabbed in the literal sense of the word or is it used in…

An effort was made. It makes perfect sense that someone would try to create something for teachers to bridge the often dumbfounding gap between understanding and having no effing clue what in the unholy heck is coming out of kids’ faces.

This attempt is just “so close, yet so far.” So bad, it’s hilariously amazing. Can’t you just see some poor older person, probably in a tweed outfit, typing this out on an antique Underwood typewriter, repeatedly whispering “well gee whilickers” under their breath?

Gotta keep crizunky with the YOLO these Daysie McDayfaces. Right?


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