Today is the basically the Olympics of eating in America, which is generally already pretty extreme, any other time of the year. But, eating like it was an athletic competition can have some biological… consequences.

So! Without it getting gross at all, let’s put our ear to the bathroom door of this video and listen in on this 3-year-old’s hilariously thoughtful and alarmed conversation with himself about his diet and its aftermath.

After today, there are plenty of us that are going to be having a stern or apologetic talk with ourselves. Probably. Hopefully!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!