Netflix & Chill…dren

Posted under NOTEBOOK, SNAPSHOTS

Netflix and Children funny image

The popular slang expression “Netflix and chill” is basically what young people these days are calling a “booty call,” getting together to hook up for sex, or the prospect of it. Maybe hang out and get in a few shows if it doesn’t turn into gland-to-gland combat, I guess.

Anyone with kids knows, after you have a baby, your sex life can sort of die a bit, slow or fast, only rising zombie-like from the grave every once in a while. “Netflix and chilling” changes a bit. As in, an overwhelming massive bit. Parents quite often choose actual Netflix and literal chilling over the sexual euphemism.
 

Sending Signals

Naughty body language can be completely lost on parents. Dad raising his eyebrows suggestively could very easily be him trying to keep his eyelids from dragging him into a standing coma. Mama could just be running her tongue seductively over her lips to lick off some yogurt from the pouch she had to open with her mouth.

Getting the message across might need to be as blunt as saying “Let’s have sex tonight.” With several reminder texts and maybe even a phone alarm.
 

Foreplay

No matter how long, being uppity in the undies can’t compare to months (or years) of sleep deprivation. So, a couple’s choice to trade their trip to pound town for simply powering down with some binge watching is completely understandable.

Foreplay is now about 10-15 minutes of passionate indecision about what to watch. Maybe a soul-melting back rub if things get really spicy!
 

Sexy Time

Who says that curling up together to zone out in front of a screen isn’t downright erotic!?! Okay, so yes, people who actually have sex say it isn’t, but whatever!

Your new favorite “position” may now be now based on the most comfy spot with a good view, without the condition known as “sweaty thigh” or anyone’s arm going into deep hibernation.
 

Afterglow

Well, since you passed on love making, the only afterglow will be the “Are you still watching?” message illuminating your drool-encrusted faces. And maybe a bit of swampy heat from “sweaty thigh.”

Ahhhh romance!

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