How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

If Kids Had Legal Documents (5 Joke Templates)



The days of hocking a loogie into a palm to “shake on it” are long gone. In our complex world, kids need to lawyer-up big time.

To put it very mildly, kids are little word-breaking, lying sacks of… youth. I’ve created these document templates for children (and childish adults) so they can conduct their childhood with proper legal guidance.

Sworn Declaration

Kids are questionable witnesses (hahahahahaha! Sorry. Ehem.) and often give testimony that can be wilder than a conspiracy theorist on LSD. This legal template may shine some much needed credibility on the frequently shady words of children.

Cross My Heart Hope to Die Stick A Needle In My Eye Legal Document Funny


Formal Challenge Form

Issuing a challenge can easily become charged with confused and clouded by the intensity of emotion. This concise form now makes it a clear and properly recorded matter.



Certificate of Friendship Bond

Painfully low on funds or tradable goods when an arrangement is being negotiated, kids rely on bartering their “best friendship” to seal the deal. This contract goes further, offering Best-EST Friendship.



Official Claim Notice

Possession is 9/10 of the law. With this document, kids can now avoid long, drawn out, hair-pulling squabbles by putting a clear, DATED legal claim on it.



Non-Disclosure Agreement

The verbal contract of “I promise I won’t tell” is shamefully insufficient, with gaping loopholes. Let’s bind confidentiality in something tighter than a hula hoop.

Non-Disclosure Agreement for Kids

Now kids can legally dot their I’s and cross their T’s with proper legal minding and representation of their P’s and Q’s.*

* this is satire and is not intended as qualified legal counsel. This notice releases me of any liability for misuse of or litigation related to use of these documents.


Even More Craziness?
Yeah, this rabbit hole is pretty deep. Buckle up.


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