The Future Is Now: French Fry Vending Machine!

Posted under VIDEOTAPE

Lots of us complain endlessly about the state of the world. There are so many things, today, that make absolutely no sense. Will my kids ever sleep through the night? Why don’t we have hoverboards yet? Who is this orange man running for President? Why can’t I drink my own pee?

Well, maybe not that last one.

But the fact is, science has been and continues to kick ass across so many fronts that it’s almost impossible for us to keep track of the progress we’re making. That’s how fast innovation moves now.

Today, we need to check in with science and celebrate that the fact that THE FUTURE HAS ARRIVED, KIDS. Because today, we have harnessed the powers of the cosmos and captured lightning in a bottle.

Or a vending machine. Specifically, we now have A VENDING MACHINE FOR FRENCH FRIES. ::sings ‘A Whole New World’:: Even cooler, it gives you sauce options.

Listen, I don’t even understand how this works. I don’t care. I just know there will be fries and a dipping sauce delivered to me in mere minutes. And I believe this is the full realization of the American Dream, if there ever was one.

Now, if only we could get a vending machine with hours of sleep or do-over days from our past.