21 Things I’m Nervous About With My Son Going Into Kindergarten
My son starts kindergarten in less than two weeks. I’m feeling a little pantspoopingly nervous about it, if I’m being honest. The worst part is when I look for resources on preparing for Kindergarten, the articles usually state or start with “stay calm.” I WAS ALMOST CALM UNTIL YOU SAID THAT.
Those articles with lists of “when you know your child is ready” make me feel inept, unprepared and a bit like a failure. So, to illustrate my concerns with Finn’s upcoming matriculation, I’d like to lay them all out here with the help of moments from The Walking Dead. Because the zombie apocalypse and starting elementary school are basically the same thing to me at this point. Enjoy my stress!
1. Social Skills
My son is a brilliant boy, but his social skills sometimes resemble an angry honey badger.
2. He’ll Get Lost
School building can be intimidating. What if he loses his way?
3. Physically Capable
He gets a little whiney sometimes by the end of the day. Can he even handle real life?
4. Making Friends
I went through phases of feeling like an outcast. I hope he doesn’t have to.
5. Nightmare Teachers
Amazing teachers are priceless, and Finn has had great instructors. BUT WHAT IF?
6. School Can Be Scary
New kids. New school. New rules. New responsibilities. OMGGGGG.
7. Picky Eating
My little Finn doesn’t eat all the things. 🙁
8. Biting
What if a kid bites him or he bites another kid? Because that would suck.
9. Parents Will Hate Us
I went to one school hangout and already felt so out of place. I knew no one. What if I’m not cool enough?
10. Money
Fundraisers and school supplies? Let’s not even mention tuition. They cost money.
11. Sports
He’s great at certain activities and sports, but he’s not yet a team guy.
12. Did I Mention Social Skills?
Dude goes flipmode sometimes. What can I say?
13. Bad Examples At Home
We try our best but kids notice everything. And then repeat it to the world.
14. Can You Flunk Kindergarten?
My son is pretty damn smart, but gets easily miffed when he makes mistakes.
15. Potty Training
Because who the hell knows, right?
16. Waking Up On Time
I hate waking up. Hated it then, hate it now. Chances are… so will he.
17. College Readiness
Because that’s what getting into Kindergarten has felt like so far. Ugh.
18. Laughing At Farts
I taught him well. Too well.
19. First Crush?
My brother got married to a girl in Kindergarten. Youth is so fickle.
20. Bullying
Kids can be so mean. Brutal. What if they gang up? Then I get to be psycho/weirdo/sensitive dad. Yay.
21. I’m Embarrassing
That’s pretty obvious by now.
Did you have any of these crazy concerns, too? Am I overreacting? Sure. But I’m trying to be honest. I’m a little terrified that all of my hard work so far won’t amount to success in Finn’s first elementary school class. And that would suck. Because I love him.
Dave says: 
