Adults Can Be Raging Doucheballs

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Adults Being Doucheballs to Kids Stealing Baseballs

I’m soooooooo sporty. I make holes-in-one all the time when I’m bowling. I can score tons of touchdowns without even hitting the basketball hoop pole. And I can hit home runs nearly every time I swing a tennis racket. So yeah, not very sporty. Especially when it comes to baseball, playing or watching.

However, I do understand that a lot of other people get pretty rabid about it. I can totally understand that going to a game can transform an adult into their former enthusiastic youth, very much like how I’ll get school-girl giddy for the next Star Wars movie.

BUT! I when I do see it, I won’t kick the seat in front of me, throw popcorn like confetti or fumigate the audience with hotdog-fueled farts as if I ACTUALLY WAS an egocentric little kid again. I know that catching a fly ball or home run in the stands is the Holy Grail of a baseball game, but let’s look at some alarming examples of adults turning into humongous childish doucheballs to little kids, all for a little white, leather ball.

Soulless Joe Doucheson

Who needs a heart when you can place a stolen souvenir ball in the empty hole where it once used to beat.

asian man steals fly baseball from sad girl gif

asian man steals fly baseball from sad little girl

The Douche Cobra

“I don’t THINK so!!! Life is a school of pain, kid, and I’m your substitute teacher.” ““this guy (the one true King of Westeros?)

man swipes a baseball from a boy

The Ultimate Douchebaguette

This fully-grown adult fails to swipe the ball tossed to two little kids, so she rips it out of the girl’s hands, and then celebrates with her doucheposse.

worst woman ever steals and grabs a baseball from a little girl gif

worst woman ever steals and grabs a baseball from a little girl

Douche Stampede

Last one to the ball is a massive head trauma victim! Or both. Notice that Captain Douche flattens the teen AND himself, and neither one of them gets the ball. Look at the other two scramble like greedy little piggies.

man clobbers young teen for a baseball gif

Sir Douche-a-lot

If you’re going to do a victory trot after you overpower a little boy at a baseball game, remember you’re probably going to be on camera, so make it nice and douchey.

large man grabs ball from little boy at a baseball game gif

The Tyrannosaurus Douche

I would wish that this guy had fallen over the rail after ripping off this kid, but I know he’s probably too dead inside to feel any pain. Awwwww, the poor little victim doesn’t even know what happened.

man clearly steals a baseball tossed to a little kid

wheredtheballgo

Assault & Douchery

The kid is clearly holding! the! damn! ball! This is like tackling a football player on his way to the locker room after a game.

little boy gets knocked over as man rushes to get a baseball gif

The Douche Side of the Force

Dude! You’re on a date with your girlfriend! Way to impress the lady, and tens of thousands of fans, and millions of TV and internet viewers. Classy.

man nabs baseball tossed to young boy

man steals baseball from boy

The Douchenado

This lady is wearing a sociopathic smile as she sweeps in like a dispassionate force of nature and methodically wrenches an autographed ball out of the hands of a pack of excited kids it was obviously thrown towards.

Japanese lady steals autographed baseball by ripping it out of the hands of kids gif

Douchey McCreeperson

If you’re douchey and you know it, clap your hands! I can’t tell if the stank of his own doucheyness overwhelmed him or he just isn’t very good at stealing from children.

Adult bearded man tried to steal baseball from a bunch of kids

Defense Against the Douche Arts

Some ballplayers won’t have it. Here’s Derek Jeter saying no-way-joséfina as she tries to rip it out of his hands.

Adult woman tries to steals a baseball from Derek Jeter giving it to a kid

Douche

You can actually see the moment when the man realizes “nah, I won’t be able to live with myself.”

Adult man intercepts ball from a kid and gives it back

You’re Doing it Right

You see? You can still have fun at a baseball game when a ball comes your way and choose to be the opposite of human garbage.

man give little boy the baseball he caught gif
It’s sort of morbidly amusing, right? Apparently I’ll never love anything as much as some of these adults love walking away with a souvenir baseball, by any means necessary.

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Funny Pictures for Everyone
No one needs to riot in the stadium seats for these.

2 Comments

  • Pat says:

    The level of doucheballness makes my blood boil. I’m still grinding my teeth in disgust.

  • Jenincanada says:

    Douche canoes as far as the eyes can see!

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