How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Baby Sleep Positions: “The Deflector Shield”


The Deflector Shield Baby Sleep Position Funny Picture

A shield is up! RED ALERT! Evasive maneuvers! All hand to battle stations! (Sorry for that.) You see, once a mother ship does fire a new little cosmonaut out of her launch bay, I’m afraid a deflector shield is now quite operational. And will be for a what can seem like lightyears.

In space, no one can hear a sound, but in a bedroom, a baby in a crib or adjoining room can hear a kiss. So, it can get to seeming like the little one has set up an impenetrable blockade, stopping all traffic or trade between parents, left to simply drift in the lonely vacuum.

Intimacy then becomes a bit of an exploratory frontier for parents, to seek out new babysitters and new possible occasions, to boldly go where they haven’t gone. In a pretty friggin’ long time. For more than five or so minutes.

NOTE: please don’t be too mad at me for mixing Star Wars and Star Trek references together here. I already hate myself for it, and haven’t gotten much sleep or sex recently.


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5 Responses to “Baby Sleep Positions: “The Deflector Shield””

  1. Mimi says:

    I love you guys

  2. Dom says:

    Lol Scarily accurate!

  3. Must admit, this cracked me up. I’m always protecting the family jewels from accidentally being hit.

  4. Leesa says:

    My boy can just rest if she’s lying over my neck, ideally with her knee marginally hindering my aviation route.

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