How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

My Wife and Kid Just Said… #167

Posted by , under "MY KID JUST SAID...", "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Wife: “No, I don’t have a penis. I have a vagina.”


Son: “A bagina? Where does the pee come out???”


Wife: “There’s a… hole.”


Son: “In you butt?”


Wife: “No, the front… The fluffy part.”


Listening to my wife, Lizze, and my youngest son Lucas (5yo), I wanted to laugh myself to peeing.

I will fully admit that I didn’t restrain myself from laughing only so that the learning moment wasn’t made humorous or odd for our little inquisitive biology student, I bit back my laughter so the conversation could continue as long as possible. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Shush. I already know I’m terrible.


Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
Ahhhhh, the baby lookalike debate.

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13 Responses to “My Wife and Kid Just Said… #167”

  1. Another dad says:

    My wife had almost the exact same conversation with our five-year-old son. It’s truly a crack-up moment. 😁

  2. Christina says:

    My daughter is 2, and we’ve always been really honest with her about what things are called and what they do (when she asks– not necessarily volunteering information). When we were at the grocery store and I was buying, well, feminine products, she says to pretty much anyone in ear shot, “You’re buying tampons. You’re buying tampons for your butt.”

    It was hilarious…. Later. *SMH*

    • Andy says:

      Hahahahahahahaha! Amazing!

      • Christina says:


        Husband took daughter to the pharmacy yesterday to pick up my perscription. She saw some tampons, and said “Tampons. They go in Mommy’s vagina.” It greatly amused the other shoppers in line, I hear.

        Well, at least she actually had it right this time. *shrug*

  3. Audrey says:

    My 3 year old couldn’t believe it when I said I didn’t have a penis. His response was, “Well, I’m sure you do. You just can’t see it under all that hair.”

  4. Lauren says:

    My 3yo recently said

    “mom you don’t have a penis…EVEN Santa has a penis”

    (technically Santa is me. He’s already traumatized about my lack of a penis, I’ll save the Santa truth for later)

    • Andy says:

      Yeah, better go easy on him. LOL! My youngest son got into a short phase where he was asking about who had penises. Thomas the Train? Grandma and Grandpa? Curious George? It was a special time. 😉

  5. Hillary says:

    When my daughter was born my then 3 yr old son kept asking where her penis went and blamed the doctor for breaking it off.
    He even asked their pediatrician to put a new one on so she could pee.
    I couldn’t contain my laughter.

  6. Amy says:

    I have to come here to read all your child/anatomy stories. Coming from a very private background, my 3 year old son’s interest in his penis is slightly unnerving to me and I can’t talk to anyone in my family about it!

    I try my best to make sure it’s normal to discuss it and our differences when he brings up the differences but……please stop with the touching it every second! I know, I KNOW…it’s normal and he’s very happy with it. But, wow, just wow…hearing exclamations about “it’s growing!” when he has to pee, and hearing that his is going to be “as big as daddy’s” is difficult to handle. We’ve already had to talk about why mommy (me) doesn’t have one and what happened to it – probably the oddest conversation of my life. Being a mom is awesome. Being a mom of a 3 YO boy leaves me either in speechless silence or uncontrollable laughter more times than I’d like to admit.

    Sorry this is a little long – this site has been a sanity saver for me since my son was born. I can’t thank you (and your great followers who leave wonderful comments) enough!

    • Andy says:

      Amaaaaaaazing. Never apologize for something this hilarious being long! Haha!

      You’re most welcome! And THANK YOU so so very much for the kind words. It’s really energizing to hear you’ve enjoyed the site for so long and so meaningfully. 🙂

  7. Gary says:

    That’s hilarious, we have had the same conversation over and over with my 3yr old and 5yr old. My three year old comes up with the best questions like “Does the Hulk have a penis?” He will also tell us that his “big penis” hurts. @Amy above my son is doing the same thing and I can tell you that interest stays with us for a long time.
    My daughter’s fascination with her vagina and being naked is scaring the hell out of me.

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