SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING
Becoming a parent or experiencing prolonged exposure to babies and children may cause a variety of pleasurable and undesirable heart episodes.

Kids don’t make you feel anything you haven’t felt before. Delude yourself all you want, but they just don’t. However, they can act like emotional lenses, sharpening and intensifying feelings like sunlight made into a laser. Your heart is the ant staring at the blinding light of its inevitable and inexorable intensity.

With the simplest thing, you’ll swell with pride like it was a winning lottery ticket or shatter like the windshield of car accident. And everything else you’ve ever felt, but on intervention-level steroids, exposed to Hulk-level gamma radiation.

When you have a child, and your heart begins walking around outside your body, there are a lot of things that are going to happen to that heart of yours in the hands of this little ridiculously foolish and wonderful new person; your child. Through the phases of baby, toddler, kid and beyond, it’s not going to be a gentle experience, even when it’s good. Life will become a sort of extreme experience in ways you never imagined.

It’s the most awfully beautiful thing and the most beautifully awful thing you’ll ever experience. Buckle up, buttercup. Be ready for anything, because all of anything is exactly what is likely to happen to your parent heart.

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Instructional Diagrams
These are part of my heart in a lot of ways.