How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

My Wife Just Said… #141

Posted by on January 2nd, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“My hands are fah-reeeeezing! Oh wow. Your balls are so warm!!! Don’t jump away! Oh please let me warm my hands on your balls?”
-Elizabeth

 

Um. Okay so yeah… WOW! That’ll take you from tired to light-speed wakefulness like nothing else! Even if you’re in a coma. Or dead.

Notes to self: 1) never ever allow my wife anywhere near my bits and pieces when she’s complaining about the cold, 2) buy a space heater and mittens, and 3) light the house on fire if necessary.

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16 Comments

16 Responses to “My Wife Just Said… #141”

  1. Rumsita says:

    Is her under-boob area not as warm as mine? That’s my preferred hand-warming spot.

  2. Johnny says:

    Oh… that’s just… why would someone… that not right!!!

  3. Laurie says:

    Geez louise! I am not sure I would do that if we were outside in this blizzard we are getting now with no gloves! While I have no doubt there would be warmth, umm just not for me!

  4. Adrian says:

    My wife puts her feet there when we’re in bed…….most uncomfortable at times.

  5. Ozzie says:

    When you’ve been married as long as me, you learn to welcome any opportunity for your wife to put her hands on your balls.

  6. Scatha Pennicat says:

    Where’s the like button when you need it. *chuckle, chuckle*

  7. Heike says:

    Glad to see I’m not the only one. The ball area is indeed very nice and warm

  8. Catherine says:

    My Mom told me to put my hands in my underarms. Not nearly as fun as warming up on bits. ;)

  9. Amy says:

    My kids are both sleeping, or I would be howling with laughter. I had to content myself with muffled snorting and choking! Seriously LMAO XD

  10. Jesse says:

    In my house we call that “Penis Heat.” Really is a cure-all for cold hands, feet, etc.

  11. Jo says:

    Hehe… My husband actually encourages this behavior… I thought this was the norm, no?!?

  12. jennifer says:

    Where’s the banana for scale?

  13. lmao My husband doesn’t mind when I do this. Most of the time. As long as I haven’t just come in from snow. lol

  14. John C says:

    Call me crazy but I actually enjoy the feeling of a cold females hands on my warm scrotum

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