We made it. Most of us. We made it through 2013 and we are birthed into a new year like screaming babes covered in slimy goodness into the arms of our mommies, another January.
But if you’ve spent a night of debauchery ringing in the new year, I’m here to tell you: you’re qualified to be a parent. Well, not qualified. But experienced.
Here are five ways surviving New Year’s Eve is just like being a parent…
1. The Hangover
Someone please explain the difference between a hangover and waking up in the morning as a parent? I can’t find any. I wake up with a crushing headache, light is too bright and I can barely rouse myself out of bed.
Sleep deprivation is also a big part of both parenting and a solid NYE celebration. There are strange cocktails prepared. It’s a recipe for up-all-night crazytown madness.
Maybe you’re crying. Maybe it’s someone else. Maybe both. Any way you slice it, there are tears and they are flowing. They could be happy or sad, but the salty waterfalls are running.
The pressure of it all gets to some of us. The sheer joy inspires single droplets on cheeks. No one is immune, especially when it comes to the nostalgia-thon of parenting and partying on New Year’s Eve.
3. Watching the Clock
Warner Bros. / Global Grind
There’s always a countdown. Parents count the minutes to nap time, to dinnertime,to bedtime and sometimes… to alone time.
New Year’s partygoers watch the ticking clock just a like parent waiting for their kid to poop.
4. Predicting the Future
Parents and New Year’s partygoers are always looking ahead to the future. Resolving themselves to do better or to stop doing bad stuff. Likewise, they sit and review the past for clues to help them prevent bumps in their relationships.
Neither of them are particularly lucid, so ambiguous statements like, “I’m never letting that guy do that thing with his balls again” are very common. Diapers creams can help both parties.
5. Someone to Kiss
Probably the most coveted and iconic moment is the big kiss. Whether it’s getting that kickoff kiss of the new year or a kiss goodnight, we expect it. It punctuates the moments of our lives.
And, if we’ve done our jobs, it’s one we never forget.
Following us on Facebook is like being drunk on New Year’s Eve. It sounds like a good idea until you realize you were on a jumbrotron mooning the police. Just us?