“I watewwed da pwants!”
“…By going PEE PEE!”
-Lucas (2013, 4 years old)
This was the first time my littlest son peed outside. On nature (neighborhood shrubs count as nature, right?).
We’ve all had it happen. No bathroom. No diaper. Not enough time to make it to either. One can almost hear the Mission Impossible theme playing in the background along with the sizzle of a fuse that’s swiftly burning. But it’s a bladder bomb that’s about to go off.
Some circumstances are so desperate one might resort to any expendable recepticle to catch the emergency flow. In the panicked heat of the moment a parent might even hold out their hands to receive the flow of a kid with eyes yellow from the need to pee. But peeing on a lawn or bush is more advisable.
Honest moment: The first times any of my boys peed outside have been peculiarly special to me. You see, I love peeing out of doors. I’m pretty sure I’ve peed outside every place I’ve ever lived since I could walk. I’m not sure my parents are aware of this or not. Or any guest I’ve ever invited over since I moved out of my parents’ place…
So yeah. There we go. Firsts are special. Or something.
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