How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Parent Service Announcement: Clowns

Posted by on December 12th, 2013, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Parent Service Announcement Clowns

Most everyone is familiar with Public Service Announcements (PSAs). Back in the ’50s they taught useful things like ducking down and covering your head with your arms to ensure survival from an atomic blast, or that women are a distracting and deadly menace to the workplace… um… okay, those were probably horrifically misleading, but later there were some good ones. About not getting AIDS or getting into candy-scented vans or staying off drugs whilst properly frying an egg.

What about parents, though? The “Public” is all fine and dandy, but shouldn’t Parents have a special set of Service Announcements just for them? Parent Service Announcements. After all, parenting is nearly as life-altering as an atomic bomb and happens way more often.

Beware of Clowns

This questionably-helpful series starts with the hard-hitting, often overlooked danger of clowns. Sure, it’s all fun and games and grease paint until your kid wakes up screaming, night after night, about honking foam noses, rainbow afros or a polkadot VW Bug that just keeps belching out the twisted balloon-animal wielding freaks. Life scarring.

It’s true. I would soften the blow for those few offended clowns or clown-lovers reading this, but I say this for the greater good, and am therefore numbed with self-riotousness and riding a horse so high your complaints just sound like ant farts to me.

Parents, get prepared by getting smart! Pass this on to others! Because parenting while under the influence of dumbness is… uh… erm… dumb.

This has been a Parent Service Announcement.
Thank you. That is all, please carry on.

 

Follow us on Facebook. Stay connectified. Stay informated.

Get Diagrammonally Instructified
So you can be educationalized.
 

3 Comments

3 Responses to “Parent Service Announcement: Clowns”

  1. Clowns are admittedly very creepy. They are right up there with the mobile ice cream truck that rides around with the sketchy guy driving and the creepy music. All he needs is a sign that say “pedophile on board”.

  2. “To me, clowns aren’t funny. In fact, they’re kind of scary. I’ve wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.” – Jack Handy

  3. Robin R says:

    “…numbed with self-riotousness and riding a horse so high your complaints just sound like ant farts to me.” That may be the most awesome sentence ever written.

Leave a Reply

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.