The Hands of Time

Posted under NOTEBOOK

The Hands of Time Holding Hands with my Son
 

    He reached out, fumbling for something. I grabbed a toy and handed it to him and he said, “No, Daddy,” and took my hand.

 
I’ve been working relentlessly. So, sadly, Family Time seems better measured with a stopwatch than a clock these days.

It makes perfect sense that my littlest lad has been a bit more urgent about me. Following me around. Walking in on me while I’m in the bathroom, to hang out. He’ll sing or yell nonsense loudly while I’m talking with someone else. I get it. He’s trying to shut me up with an important test of the Emergency Attention-Getting System. Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooop! It’s ridiculously cute or mildly annoying, but I always completely understand it.

So, when we were all getting in the car the other day, as he buckled himself up, he rather smoothly instructed his mom to vacate the back seat so I could sit next to him. Then he took my hand instead of a toy.

His hand was as soft and small and as certain as his voice had just been to his mama.

Time itself was impressed enough by the gesture that it seemed to slow down from it’s break-neck pace, so maybe it too could savor the moment. And so it stood still there for a while, while our hands hugged one another.

Physical closeness has always seemed very black and white for my 4yo son. He’s not too much of a hand holder; that’s too in the middle, too grey. He either wants to latch on to one of us like a frightened monkey (“uppies”), or for us to go far away from him, change our names and nationalities and leave him the total heck alone.

His hands aren’t as tiny as when he was a baby, of course, but his hand was still completely engulfed in the big meat mitt of mine. I looked up from the perfectly-matched mismatch and smiled at him. He nodded his head, contented.

Later, in a quiet moment unpopulated by anyone but the two of us, I explained to him that I knew I’d been working too much, but that it was so we could play together more, later.

To which he replied, “I know, Daddy. … Sooooo… can we pway now?”

I said yeah. And then knocked the giggles out of him with a pillow.

 
Father and Son Overlapping Hands

“β€œ

Don’t follow us on Facebook. Go hold your kid’s hand or hit them with a pillow or something.

Instructional Diagrams
You either know all about these or you better get started now. Enjoy!
 

Tags:

21 Comments

  • Jess Berhang says:

    It’s amazing how these fleeting moments snap you back into what is important. I wish I could string mine with my daughter more fluidly.

  • Whit says:

    Nice moment. It hits home all too well.

  • “Daddy, come play with me.” I hope I’m wise enough to always listen to my kids requests.

    Great moment Andy. Enjoy this time with your little man.

  • Damn. Excellent read. I love when TheBoy walks WITH me to school holding my hands, rather than running ahead just to “beat” me there.

  • Marilyn says:

    These precious times fly so fast. As I watch my sons get taller and more confident, I wonder where my babies went. Kudos to you for taking the time to treasure yours!

  • jackson says:

    “Daddy, can you pway with me?”

    My three-year-old son asks that daily, and I make myself stop what I’m doing and at least give him a few minutes. This is what life is about, not the laundry or the internet or whatever else I was doing. I remind myself of that as often as I can.

    • Andy says:

      You just HAVE TO, so your future self doesn’t want to beat the sense into your present self, if you don’t make the pway time. πŸ˜‰

  • Natalia says:

    Absolutely beutiful πŸ™‚ My 3 year old daughter has started having some cute details with me, as when she makes me mad and after a while, when she’s already calmed, she comes and gives me a kiss and a smile “so you are not mad anymore”, or sometimes she tickles me while saying “I’ll tickle you so you smile and are happy”. Ho can one resist this? I guess it’s the beutiful age when they also start understanding about their feelings and the feelings of the people around them. Hold on to that hand for as long as you can! πŸ™‚

  • Laurie says:

    Awww! How sweet! Those moments sound dreamy..
    Meat mitt huh?!?! Interesting description! πŸ™‚

  • neal says:

    Nothing like holding a kid’s hand to remind you what’s important in life. To remind you that it’s your job to shield them, surround them, protect them, just the way your hand engulfs theirs. And then, when they let go to scamper after a squirrel or something, to remind you that it’s also your job to let go, and let them fly free. Complicated, and bittersweet.

  • Zoe says:

    And when your son is taller than you, and spontaneously walks up to hug you, time stops, and it is terrifying, and magical, and the most wonderful thing imagineable. My ‘baby’ will be 22 in the spring. He didn’t get taller than me until he was about 16, he’s never really been one for physical affection, so a hug out of the blue – wow. Now we live about 2300 miles apart – life changes on both sides – seeing him in and of itself is just – well – there are no words.
    Get into those moments, where you’re both really present. Treasure them, cement them into your very being. They aren’t repeated. The next time it happens, it’s a whole different kid. They change at the speed of light.

  • Sean says:

    I understand this completely. I’m in the middle of stepping down from one of the higher positions in my company to the lowest so I can focus on being a dad, and move closer to family. I’ll miss the “game” of business but I’m looking forward to actually playing.

    My son is the most astounding start up I’ve ever been a part of.

  • Jo says:

    Hang on to every moment… I lost my son when he was just 10. I am so glad I cherished each and every moment I had with him. Each snuggle, giggle and yes, each hand hold. We aren’t guaranteed a second more than the present one so we MUST treasure the one we’re in!! May you have a kazillion more with your sweet boy!! πŸ™‚

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *