I’m crying. I don’t even entirely know why.
Time is a formless substance, a vapor until we have children and then it condenses into the form of emotional precipitation. Sure, we lose loved ones or look back to the milestone moments speaking to us from the past, but parenthood changes all of that. We see the past, present and future in ways we never could have anticipated. We are bound to time.
Even now, I am struck by the fact that my son has grown so much. His personality forming, we become closer friends as the weeks go by. I am struck by how far we’ve come. How much older I feel. How much youth has drifted from me in such a short time though I am invigorated by the potential of the years ahead.
We are expecting another baby, another anchor in time and place to root myself. Another north star for me to guide my ship and navigate my journey.
The video below has me in tears. Life is so fleeting and so infinite. We ride on a current of some unknown force carrying us down this river of experience. Sometimes we have a rudder. Sometimes we just float along. But the motor of it all is love. The ingress and egress of time is based on love.
I love you, my son and my child yet to be born.