How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

I Call Bullshhhhh…

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Wateful Ring-Toss game I call bullshhhhh

I call bulls**t!

Whenever I see something impossible like this, that’s my immediate reaction. Maybe not always out loud, but sometimes definitely out and plenty loud. I’ve been fooled too many times by the Internet, and before that, by television and film when I was a kid.*

* Do you like how I’m making it sound like something that used to happen? Let’s all just pretend I’m not still gullible, m’kay? I am, after all, an owner of significantly large percentage of the Golden Gate Bridge, so have some respect please.

Plus, I’ve got childhood scars from this particular game. Permanent callouses on the thumbs of my soul from frantically button-mashing away at it. And when my frustration had always been about to boil over, I’d get three rings in a single shot. SQUEE! Only to blast the damned things off a microsecond later. The thing was created by a madman who hated kids. I swear it.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with this kind of game, it’s basically like pinball. Except imagine the pinball machine is more like a clear waterbed and, instead of firm metal balls deflected strategically with aimed paddles, you have to get feather-light plastic rings onto tiny pegs with random squirts of water and shear hope.

My 3yo son just got a modern version of the dreaded Waterful Ring-Toss, in the shape of a cellphone with an aquarium screensaver.

I watched him start playing with the fluid-filled torture device. He was delighted! As he continued to squeeze and giggle, I wondered to myself when he was going to get mad and huck it across the room in disgust. He never did.

A realization began to dawn on me.

I realized that I had always been going about this kind of game all wrong. My toddler son was teaching me something deep. I understood it now.

To win at this game
you have to not care
if you win!

 

I could practically hear the faint sound of some zen gong being struck somewhere far off.

But…

I still call bulls**t on this picture! Whoever did this has been cheating and/or building miniature ships-in-a-bottle all their life! NO! FRIGGIN’! WAY!

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Instructional Diagrams
Adult diapers. You may need a pair.
 

19 Comments

19 Responses to “I Call Bullshhhhh…”

  1. Erich says:

    Don’t worry, it’s probably shopped. I’ve never completed the game and now I’m tempted to find that electronic version you acquired so my kids can “enjoy” this lil blast from the past.

  2. No bullshit, I totally completed that game one or two times, all the rings completely on it, no cheating. I think I boasted about it for weeks afterwards.

    Man, I loved that game.

  3. Jason says:

    Yeah, I remember this little torture. We brothers would grab it from time to time, just to temp fate, only to have our asses handed to us by a bit of plastic and a few ounces of water. Grrrrr… It certainly passed the time in the car though.

    Jason
    The Cheeky Daddy

  4. I seem to remember a lot of issues with the water leaking out of this game. I bet there’s some sort of scientific formula for how much water you need and how viscous it is. Give yourself a pat on the back. You tried your best with the information and skills that you had. As for your son, I love his positive attitude. He’s a true water-ring champ.

  5. Oh yes I remember this game quite well! A childhood favorite filled with fun AND frustration all wrapped up in a plastic box of water. Making you swear it was rigged like a carnival game at the fair!
    Awhhhhhh……..thanks for the memories Andy!
    Now I’m off to solve that %#%*^ Rubix Cube……..

  6. LOL. I remember this game. My strategy was to cause pure water havoc by pushing incessantly on that stupid white button as fast as I could. Demon game. Belongs at a carnival next to the ball in the basket nonsense.

  7. Katy says:

    Wow, I remember that game! If it’s not Photoshopped then they emptied the water, used long tweezers to get the rings on and then VERY CAREFULLY filled it back up with water. Because that feat is impossible otherwise. IMPOSSIBLE!

  8. Laurie says:

    This is hilarious! “the fluid-filled torture device” is awesome!!! Those games HAVE to be 10000000% impossible!

  9. I knew Karen Walrond and I were related because I got all the rings on there when I was a kid, too.

  10. Jess says:

    If you need me, I’ll be over here in the corner, rocking gently in the fetal position at the flood of unforgiving memories at how heated and stressed I got as a child trying to master this game. I’m anxiously waiting for Dylan to teach me Lucas’ lesson. TEACH ME THE LESSON, CHILD OF MINE!

  11. Jo says:

    Ugh! You have just rekindled the horrendous flashbacks of my tormented childhood…thanks! I’ll be over in the corner next to Jess…

  12. Alex says:

    The ‘water’ in the container looks odd to me. You know that ‘Worlds of Wonder’ product that was a clear gel for making a static aquarium with plastic fish? You could insert the objects with long tweezer/tongs and then siphon away (or add) bubbles with a bulb-tipped syringe. Maybe, just maybe, someone decided to fill up their old Waterful Ring Toss with that stuff so they could finally know the satisfaction of putting all the rings on the pegs. Shrug.

  13. nickol says:

    If I had a whole lot of time and long tweezers, I could definitely stack those puppies up and then put some water in it afterward…
    That is how I’d do it if I were to fake a picture.

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