How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Jedi Baby

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Jedi Baby Funny Picture

When I was a kid, I knew this wise old man who was very into mystical Eastern philosophy. I didn’t really have a clue what that even meant beyond the little education I’d received from TV shows and movies. Which should basically tell you I wasn’t just dumb as a rock on the subject, I was as dumb as something a rock would call dumb. But, being a kid, dumbness didn’t stop me from being certain it must have something to do with POWERS. Probably not like super heros, but more like Jedi have.

One day I asked him if he could jump super high, sword fight uncommonly well or speed-read minds, that sort of stuff. He had an amused smile on his face as he shook his head, no. I deflated. Then he said, “I can move objects without touching them.” BINGO! I knew it!

Without saying anything, he caught the attention of a stranger walking behind him and said, “move that across the table” pointing to a paper clip. The man stopped walked over and moved the paper clip across the table with a sort of a “uhhhh, heh, what am I missing here?” look on his face.

I snorted and said THAT wasn’t a power, he’d cheated, but even at 12 years old I could tell he wasn’t acting like it was a joke or a prank. Just that wise knowing smile.

Now that I’m older and have seen more of the world and life and had kids, I’m not so sure any more. Especially when I look at all of the things my kids have gotten me and my wife to do, and the fact that getting them to do nearly anything does actually seem to require special powers. Jedi powers. Now somebody invent a friggin’ lightsaber already!

May the Force be with you all,



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29 Responses to “Jedi Baby”

  1. Stephanie K. says:

    My kids are definitely jedi’s. Last night I somehow ended holding both kids in my arms while trying to make dinner…and I’m still not sure how they ended up in my arms…at the same time…while I was cooking…

    And tonight my 2 year old managed to get me to put Toy Story on, after telling her quite a few times that we would watch it tomorrow night…

  2. Mo says:

    I know this is a commercial and stuff, but it’s so freakin awesome I laugh out loud EVERY time I see it. The force is strong indeed.

  3. Ricky says:

    I just wanted to say I recently discovered your website and I think it is great. I am a new father searching the web for parenting tips as well as blogging about my adventures in fatherhood. Keep up the good work!

  4. Susie says:

    I believe the phrase you are looking for might be “dumb as a box of hair”. And yes, they have some evil version of the Force.

  5. Monica says:

    All Babies come with a master skill of Jedi Mind Tricks. They can do awesome things. My son is amazing at getting us to do his will without ever even talking. Wish my skills were as awesome as his. Thanks for the Amazing Post! Loved it as always! (minus the april fools joke that still kinda upsets me a little – so glad it was only a joke).

  6. Alan says:

    Yes, I too have now forgiven the April Fools bit. (Poorly executed but I get it πŸ˜‰

    The Jedi mind skill most frequently executed by our little boys continues to be what we call “The Wakening.” Without a sound, in the dead of night, they can stand at the side of the bed motionless and bring me to a wide-eyed, alert state. You could be somewhere near a coma in deep sleep when suddenly, you will just pick up your head, look over and say, “what?” to a small human who is poised to give you your next command. F-R-E-A-K-Y.

  7. Catherine says:

    I am reliving the childhood experience vicariously through you. My first grandchild is due next month, and being the appointed caregiver while Mommy and Daddy work, has me brushing up on all of those special “details” that time so mercifully erased from my memory. You make me laugh, and your posts are the ones I look for everyday! I had a very involved Dad like you, and I can tell you, it makes for awesome memories for both of you! I sent your post on the baby sleep darts to my brother, and it amused us both!Keep it up!

    • Andy says:

      Oh wow! That’s so touching. We’d much rather people be reliving their childhoods and child rearing days with us than mistaking our website for a How To site. πŸ˜‰ YAY! And thanks for sharing our stuff, too!

  8. MotherDuck says:

    I love this post. My six year old has decided she is a healer. She goes around and touches people’s bumps scratches, even pimples! She closes her eyes for a few seconds and then tells the person when their owies will go away. My mom swears by her healing powers. It’s pretty rad.

  9. DSP Dixie says:

    My favorite “Force” is when my 9 year old son uses the force to open the automatic doors at the grocery store. – DSP Dixie

  10. jean says:

    My husband does the same thing IN PUBLIC! I either just shake my head or cover my face :/ Or maybe run away next time! Oh & by the way, he calls our baby girl his Padawan. Tsk!

    • Andy says:

      Ha ha ha ha! Your hubby and I are cut from the same cloth. And it’s not the fabric that matters, it’s that it’s cut with a lightsaber. πŸ˜‰

  11. Mike W. says:


    I found your site through a link on my friends FB. I’m going to be a father in a few months and love your site. Added to bookmarks!

  12. Christina says:

    They’re zombies, they’re Jedi. Baby boys are naturally firemen.
    How many more things can they be? Lets list them.

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