Before you have kids, it doesn’t seem possible you could lose much in a crib, car seat or stroller. They’re just a frame with bars and a frilly mattress, a cushioned bucket with a test-pilot’s buckling system and an over-sized folding chair on wheels covered by fabric. None of these are exactly the Amazon Forest. Right? Wrong!
As a parent, you do lose things. You could have sworn… well, you do swear. A lot. But you could have sworn it’d be in one of these places. You search and hunt and practically dismantle the dang things to their nuts and bolts, but… nothing! You think you’re losing your mind. And you feel like a total negligent slob from the nastiness of what you do find along the way in your quest. How could all of this stuff have wound up here!?! you might wonder to yourself in italics.
Then, later, as if some demonic spirit has decided the cruel test of your sanity is ready for the bonus round, the missing thing will pop up suddenly there in the nooks and folds of the thing when you’re not even looking for it. You can almost hear the echoing evil “Muhuhahahah!” as you stare at the found item, right in front of you. Where you’d searched. Repeatedly.
You failed to realize that you were searching though another dimension. A dimension beyond that which is known to dad or mom. A dimension as vast as the parking lot of the local mega-mall and as endless as amusement park lines. The middle ground between nursery rhymes and gibbering madness. You just crossed over into the Black Hole Zone. (insert dramatic base drums and creepy, sharp flute sounds)
Facebook is like a black hole…
You won’t find your car keys there, but you’ll find us.
Okay, these are also like a black hole. But you won’t mind getting sucked in.