How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

How to Quiet Down a Baby

Posted by on December 28th, 2012, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

We all know there are a lot of different parenting styles. Probably as many styles as there are parents, right?

But I never get tired of discovering things that I would NEVER have thought to do. Seriously, who comes up with some of this stuff?

Well, today I present to you… this.

Sure, make a bong rip sound and your baby will go right to sleep. It’s that easy.

I also enjoy the magical words pouring out of the mouth of Mom and into the ear of the waiting baby. Mind control never looked so simple. Yeah, it’s basically like humming or whistling a baby to sleep, but you look like a bird and you sound a babbling brook. A babbling brook wasting their college career taking hits off a bong.

Will you give this a try? Or am I just nuts and haven’t used this well-known, revolutionary technique yet?

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16 Comments

16 Responses to “How to Quiet Down a Baby”

  1. Betsy says:

    Sound machines are much easier and won’t result in the parent keeling over from water intoxication.

  2. Bonnie B. says:

    If you do the actual bong hit, it’s a win-win for both the baby AND the parent. (I’m all about multi-tasking)

  3. MamaGokool says:

    There have been several points in my parenting career where if someone told me in order to calm my screaming child I’d have to stand on my head on top of the refrigerator waving a flag and singing “She’ll be Coming ‘Round the Mountain” I’d have been tempted to try it. Any port in a storm, my friend!

  4. Faman says:

    At some point haven’t all new parents been desperate enough to try just about anything to quiet a crying baby?
    Car seat on the washer/dryer worked for me and with all the spitting up and pooping the kid did I got a lot of laundry done! :)

  5. Anlycor says:

    Okay, I’m seriously signing up for nursery duty at church so I can try this out on the wee ones.

  6. Betsy says:

    1) it looks like the mom is vomiting Asian letter characters at the baby; and 2) how does the mom not spit on the baby with water in her mouth! (especially when leaning over the baby!) :) We know that white noise tends to calm fussy babies, so this is just a different shade of “white bubbly noise” :)

    • Daddy-O says:

      You inhale as you hold the water in your mouth. If you’re breathing in, the water won’t be spewed into the baby’s face.

  7. Jen says:

    bhaaaaaaahhhaaaaahhhhaaaa!!! How did you even find that?

    • Rachel says:

      Seriously, how did you find this?! Glad you found it though, it gave me a good laugh. I’m going to try this out with my sister’s twins that are due any day. I’m thinking it’s just like a sound machine (but a lot harder and stranger to do), but who knows. Maybe it’ll be magic or something.

  8. Only the Japanese could come up with such a tv report, haha! XD I love japanese tv shows even though I can’t understand a thing. Pity my son’s too big to try it out. It probably sounds like some gut sounds and calms them down by remembering happy womb times. ;-)

  9. Kevin says:

    I’ve done that. With a glass of water, of course, not with bong water. It works fairly well.

  10. Kippie says:

    I realize that I just had a glass of wine, but….WTF did I just watch?

  11. Lhug says:

    try that on a five-year-old. or a teenager, even.
    necessities: film it. DEFINETLY film it and put it on YT. that ought to be fun as a video response =)

  12. Omoide says:

    You realize that this technique is in the dvd “Happiest Baby on the Block”? Except there, they go through the four “s”‘s, one of which is shushing. Used it on my two daughters, worked like a charm.

  13. lium says:

    Works well, but I needed 5 years ago…..or….will have another one. :)

  14. Nicole A says:

    It’s all fun and games until mom asphyxiates.

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