By now, many of you have experienced of one of the most invasive experiences to ever face mankind: Santa Claus.
For years, we’ve struggled under the shadow of this overweight cat burglar. Though he “brings presents” to us, we all know he breaks into our houses through our chimneys, the most available weakness of our houses and apartments.
This thief is so cunning and flamboyant he wears red. He flaunts his presence in front of the law. His beard is a mere contrivance, another signature of a man bent on finding a way into your private space, eating your cookies, drinking your milk and wrecking your roofing system.
Yes, Santa is often compared to many things, but he is incomparable.
Much like a modern day Robin Hood, he gives to us on our day of need. But make no mistake… he comes by these “gifts” through sweatshop labor and less than honorable means. Saint Nick is no saint, sirs and madams.
Imagine a man who, on a yearly basis, commits Breaking & Entering. SUCCESSFULLY. He’s as notorious as any drug cartel leader with the power of a cruel dictator; he runs an entire continent.
How do we protect ourselves against such a man? How do we show him that we will not be trifled with?
Do we take up arms against this tyrant? Do we declare war against him? Do we even dare stand up against him?
Sure, we could always convert ourselves out of this strange Christmas pyramid scheme. But that’s not very sporting of us.
Instead, what if we celebrated each other and gave gifts and acted compassionately towards one another each day of every month as if it were the holiday season? First, that would really mess the jolly, old, selfish elf’s head. Second, maybe we could cut off his supply lines and company directives. We could interrupt his entire operation and subvert his malevolent system.
So, what do you say? Let’s send Santa packing.
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Just kidding about the Hollywood part…
Disclosure: This post is brought to you today by LifeLock, a leader in identity theft protection. This post is my own opinion and my crazytalk doesn’t necessarily reflect the opinions of Lifelock or its staff.