How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Bathroom Privacy… BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

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Bathroom Break They Will Find You Funny Pic

Parenting has been compared to every conceivable activity and career. Anything one could dream up. You’re a prisoner. You’re law enforcement. You’re a slave. You’re a cook. You’re a doctor. You’re a teacher.

But have you ever considered that perhaps the most apt description could be that of a space explorer on the vessel that discovered Ridley Scott’s ALIEN?

There’s a creature whose sole mission is find and attack you. Sound familiar?

Sure, you’re just trying to take a pee, but these little buggers are gonna find you. No matter what. They will scratch, then bang on the door. They will test every structural and emotional weakness until they get to you. You’re just trying to get a little “me” or “wee” time.

And why do they “NEED YOU” you ask?

Just cuz.


Are you on the toilet? Then go here.
Whenever you can catch a break, that is.

Potty Failing!
How about this story as an example of failure to peepee launch?


24 Responses to “Bathroom Privacy… BWAHAHAHAHA!!!”

  1. Mimi says:

    I don’t even bother shutting the door anymore. Apparently, I lost the battle, but… meh.

  2. Leah Locklear says:

    I’m with you Mimi.. just keep the door wide open. Saves you the trouble of trying to decide if you’re just going to ignore them, which is almost always an epic fail, or trying to figure out how you are going to get the door open without creating a whole new problem on the floor (too far?):) hahaha!! All for our little monster’s!!

  3. Linda R says:

    My son and dogs are in cahoots. The little one has figured out how to turn the handle, and then the dogs just barge into the door. It’s a very conniving operation… and always catches me with my pants down.

  4. Dee O'shea says:

    Child: “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!”
    Me: What??!!!!!
    Child: Hiiiiiii!

  5. Tad says:

    The problem here is that we have an au pair. So sometimes I’ll be dashing to the loo while the au pair is around, and both kids will come crashing in with a “Hi daddy! Is that your peepee? You have a boy peepee.” All the while I’m trying, somehow, to address the open door situation whilst other things are still in progress.

  6. Heather says:

    My youngest pushes Lego men under the door…as if offering help

  7. Justin says:

    The analogy is even better if their caesarian born.

  8. Jen says:

    yeah…. moms have this problem too. If you can’t beat em, invite them in.

  9. Grace says:

    i have, actually, always thought of my kid as an alien. Most especially when i was pregnant with her. Because it felt alien to have this little creature swimming inside of me… and more so now that she’s trying to talk. Totally alien language :p

  10. daveb says:

    Daughter throws a fit when doors are closed on her so I leave it open when I go wee wee. Now the hard part is potty training her. She wants to stand and wee wee like Daddy.

  11. Louise says:

    I honestly think my baby thinks we’re playing hide and seek. We have a sliding door on our bathroom, and she will fling it open with her best “I found you!!!” smile on her face. My husband gets it worse. He gets the baby AND the cat trying to work out what he’s doing.

  12. Andrew says:

    I use to be able to say, ” Daddy has to pee!” My almost 3 year old son would follow and go as well. Now, he just follows and knocks on the door and lets him self in followed by ” I flush.”

  13. Auntie J says:

    My husband is actually the only one in the house who gets ANY “pwivacee” in the potty. Our three kids are all girls, so even if I want a thirty-second break, I don’t get it, because they have no compunctions about just coming right in. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had to dispense justice from the…er…throne room, as it were. But since Daddy is a boy, he gets to have closed doors that STAY closed. The girls have even come in while I’m showering, stood between the shower curtains, and squealed, “Spway us, Mommy!”

  14. I have resorted to activating a force shield, aka, locking the door. I kindly left a note for my attackers letting them know I will available in a few minutes. Still can’t get the noise filter to work, though.

  15. Jess says:

    My son is a peeping tom. Lays flat on the floor and desperately tries to peek under the door. Even manages to stick his little hand under there as if to reassure us that he’s there if we need his help. He has has learned how to turn the handle in which our reply is “NO!” and he graciously complies…..for now.

  16. Davina says:

    Is it wrong that I love this picture so much I want to hang it on my bathroom wall. As a side benefit your visitors will always remember to lock the door.

  17. Kimalyn says:

    We have just started potty training our little girl and lately while I’m in the bathroom, my little one goes and grabs the smallest piece of toilet paper and while I’m sitting on toilet doing my thing tries to put her hand in the toliet in attempt to wipe my bottom. I say, “Trust me Izzy B, No, No”. And she replays, “Yes, Yes, momma me help. Funny thing she wants to help wipe my bottom but not help me pick up her toys.

    • Natalia says:

      Hahahaha you made me laugh cause my 3 year old daughter has started trying to clean my bottom. While being out from home if she goes to the bathroom she actually forces me to also pee, so she can clean me ๐Ÿ˜› (which she really doesn’t, as expected). The other day we got a handicap wc at a restaurant and she had a full view of my rear bottom and she said, screaming, “what a big a*s you have!”

  18. Josephine Robinson says:

    two children age 5.
    break down 2 bathroom doors.
    solution: a well placed dresser and a curtain.
    waiting til high school graduation before we fix any more doors.

  19. Rebecca Hohenberger says:

    Is this your original meme?… I am getting into an argument with someone on FB about it….

  20. Valery says:

    We’ve been living together for 6 years, married for 3.5,and we’ve never closed bathroom doors. Now that we have a toddler who we’re desperately trying to get interested in her potty, we just consider it educational. ๐Ÿ˜›

  21. Holly Stewart says:

    My 2 year old son is fascinated with the bathroom. He must open any closed door so I gave up closing them. He also tries to “wipe”mommy. He takes a pinch of tp and has to throw it into the toilet. When he sits on the potty, he still takes a little piece of tp and throws it in, whether he did something or not!

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