How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

My Wife Just Said… #81

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“You know there’s a problem when your son, who is a toddler, is telling you to calm down.” -Elizabeth



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18 Responses to “My Wife Just Said… #81”

  1. Steve says:

    Haha! That’s awesome. Reminds me of a counselor friend of mine, who recently described an argument between two adult friends of ours as “emotional tug-of-war”.

    Maybe life WOULD be better if we all handled things like a toddler. Except the pooping your pants part.

  2. Jess says:

    Is it weird/sad/pathetic/normal that I’m no stranger to the four-year-old needing to simmer ME down? Except for me it’s more like, “Alright, alright! Chill out, Mommy!” Me? Uppity? Nevvvveeeeerrrrrr. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Andy says:

      Ha ha ha ha! I tell myself that parenting is just an all-around uppity business; when it isn’t being weird, sad, pathetic, or normal. ๐Ÿ˜‰ You’re in good company. And by that I mean nearly every human being on the planet.

  3. Mo says:

    LOLOLOLOL there is a meme going around facebook that says something like, “That moment when you punish your child for being exactly like you” or something to that effect. Unfortunately, my 5 year old is too much like me to have time to tell me to chill out, he’s too busy screaming himself. But I can imagine my 3 year old saying this!

  4. Coco Cana says:

    My preschooler told me not too long ago, “mama, I think you need to take a deep, calming breath!” And you know what, I took her advice! haha.

    • Andy says:

      Rad sauce! Well played. That’s the way to do it. It makes me uncomfortable that some parents have too much pride in themselves not to be proud of their kids when the littles ones rise to the occasion and show up mommy or daddy.

  5. Hanson says:

    “Aaagghhh! There’s chocolate laxitive all over my nipple.”
    My wife just said.
    She nurses our toddler, who is anal retentive.

  6. Terry says:

    “Sometimes I am just a little bit jealous of divorced couples when one says that they don’t have the kids for the weekend” – yes of course we love our kids and would never wish for a divorce, but a weekend completely to ourselves is pretty enticing.

    • WeirdFish says:

      I’m running in a half-marathon on Sunday morning, and my wife & I are staying Saturday night in a nearby hotel by ourselves.

      I think I’m more excited about THAT than the race!

  7. Christina says:

    “Mommy needs a nap?”


    • Andy says:

      I never met a mom that didn’t both need and deserve one. Except for those crazy ass pageant moms or the ones that don’t “spare the rod,” those one’s can rot in sleep-deprivation hell.

  8. B says:

    You know you’re late when your toddler says, “Mama, come,” when you’re still in front of the mirror and everyone else is headed out to the car.

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