How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

How Kids Defend Against Loud Sounds

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How Kids Defend Against Loud Sounds

Fire engine sirens, jackhammers, alarms, elevator musak, oh my! It doesn’t matter what it is. Loud or awful sounds can freak a kid out. And every kid has their various ways of responding and even defending against these things.

Arm Muffs Defense Against Loud SoundsHere’s Lucas (3yo) holding up his toy tool box, demonstrating the Arm Muff technique as a Harley belches thunder on its way down the street.

It doesn’t even have to be a loud noise, either. Sometimes it’s the oddest noises that give them the heebie jeebies, like the tinkling of keys or the sound of a fly buzzing. You name it. If it makes any sounds whatsoever, there’s some kid out there that’s ready to fill up a diaper or pair of undies fast at the sound of it.

For these, sometimes there are pretty obvious logical connections. “The little one was just stung by a bee, so a fly’s buzzing sound scares him.” And sometimes it makes as much sense as the way kids draw grass. Which is not much.

From their perspective, they’re little itty-bitty people living in a world of giants with a bunch of loud and hot and sharp things. Stressful stuff. If you weren’t a giant, you’d be on a hair trigger, too.

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29 Comments

29 Responses to “How Kids Defend Against Loud Sounds”

  1. Christin H says:

    So true! I even saw it this morning when my 4-year old son (using the Hand Helmet method) in the most pained voice ever said: “Mama- PLEASE stop telling me what to do- you’re giving me a headache!”

  2. John says:

    I tried the hood of silence during a meeting and they made me go discuss my behavior with HR. HR didn’t find it funny either when I did in that meeting.

  3. These are great. But you did forget one. There’s the THIGH PROTECTOR. Child runs up and buries their head tightly between the thighs of their parent (tho any adult in range will do), locking their little arms around each leg and holding on for dear life. This one is my daughter’s favourite. Afterwards she looks up at us and says ‘that scurred me mommy’

    • Andy says:

      This is going to sounds snarky, mostly because I was up until 7am working on this. I have to say that (ONLY on Opposite Day) my favorite thing is the phrase “You forgot…” You’re a blogger! For shame! You know how this game goes, you can’t fit every single thing in. End snark. ;)

      That is a cute one, the thigh protector, my 3 kids all did that one. But illustrating that would have been tricky.

      • Ah geez, Andy. Now I feel bad! I think I have said that phrase on likely 3 or 4 of your posts!! I mean c’mom, we both know you have superhuman dad abilities! Slacker ;)

        But you are correct – include everything and you wind up with mini novels that no one can get through – have posted a few of those on my blog ;) I also ‘love’ the phrase “You should blog about ______!” I get that one a lot from friends…often regarding topics that have nothing to do with my blog. And yet, we all love this blogging game. Can’t get enough of it!

      • John says:

        Problem with a 3 year old doing that is their heads are right and ball crushing height. If you aren’t paying attention you might never have another child.

  4. Mother Duck says:

    I’m a finger plugger for Elevator Masak too. That stuff is deadly!

  5. I have a hand helmet wearer… The severity of the sound is then generally transferred to the size of his eyes…

  6. lol! this is really good! however I have to say, when my brother was younger, upon hearing any loud sound he would run to his comfort zone (his play place), wrap his legs in this small blanket he plays with and cover his ears like the 1st one!!! And that blanket, he’s still attached to it at 11yrs!

    • Andy says:

      You’ve got to respect the blankie! When aliens invade or zombies begin rising, you’re going to be looking around for a pump shotgun and a blankie. Trust me. I’ve had false alarms, so I know. ;)

  7. the grumbles says:

    Jude’s method includes yelling, “SHUT UP, . ADULT WORDS.” It doesn’t work, but it IS funny.

  8. Laurie says:

    This is so amazingly accurate! I have seen so many little kids do this stuff! Kids are so funny, and Lucas is too cute! By the way, Your blog Halloween makeover is umm, nice! the blood is oh so festive!

  9. Zak says:

    Awesome! My 3 year old and I went on a ride on a firetruck last night and he used one not listed. Its a variation on the hand helmet where he used MY hands so that he could keep eating candy with his own.

  10. Jennifer says:

    So true! We often get a mix of screaming along with the shirt being pulled up over the ears.

  11. Christina says:

    My son has high functioning autism, he’s a fan of the head hug.

  12. buffi says:

    I took my 17-month-old nephew was at a football game recently & he HATED when everyone yelled & cheered. His method to block sound was to fold his earlobes up to block the sound entering his ears. It was the cutest thing ever. And very effective, I’ve since discovered!

  13. shakesrear says:

    My daughter uses the hand helmet, but not for noises, for hot food. I don’t really know the relationship between hot, burning food in the mouth and plugged ears, but there must be some primordial connection.

  14. Alex P. says:

    Two of my kiddos are autistic. The eldest does okay. The younger one wails and demands a hug that involves putting your hands over his ears so tight that the pressure changes and you feel suction when he lets you remove them.

  15. Mimi says:

    How can we help these children, we can try to avoid loud noises such as fire works, but can’t always predict when it’s going to happen for other noises.., my son does the helmet..and ear plugs doesnt help for my kid, he ends up losing one

  16. John says:

    My daughter always yells, “Voices are off”. Our 3M noise blockers do the trick. But, going to the pool with the water slide is a challenge, it’s so loud. Someone has to make a predictive non-hearing device that can filter out sounds on the fly. Maybe Google Glass will make Google Noise next.

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