How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

The Textrix Has You, Neo

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The Textrix Has You Neo

My son was huddled over the glow of his phone, chuckling madly. PARENTAL RED ALERT! Apparently an anonymous admirer was texting him.

It was impossible for me not to be immediately suspicious and picture some really hairy 40-year-old dude in a pink tutu on other side of the text thread, trying to get at my son or rip him off somehow.

I went into a speech about not giving up any personal info but ran out of steam when the sound of my voice echoing in the vastness of his disinterest became deafening. He put my lecture in its grave with a “Yeah yeah yeah, this is not my first rodeo.” Which is from an Austin Powers film, buuuuuut still made no sense to me and was more worrying than reassuring. What does that MEAN!?!

Anyways, rather than lay down the law, consequently making him try to continue in secret, I joined in as the cool chaperone at the party.

I saw it was innocent once I was brought up to speed. It was better than that, it was hilarious. Allegedly there was a slumber party of girls on the other side of the unidentified number. They knew my son, and he was craftily trying to determine who they were and what school they went to.

It was pretty awful to witness English being fed through a tree chipper-shredder, and after one text, “Me is Jade” I shook my head and said, “Tell her you don’t believe she goes to ANY school. Ever.”

After the thread trailed off, I told him again to be careful, and I wasn’t worried for a while. And then a couple of days ago I came across the story of a random kid and his encounter with Mr. Taco…

See for yourself. This is their annotated text thread:

text hacked

Credit: leyts
CLICK HERE to see the original Imgur post of this amazingness!
CLICK HERE to visit the Reddit page for the genius known as “Mr. Taco.”

It’s pretty hilarious. It’s also pretty scary. Thank goodness Mr. Taco uses his powers for awesome and not evil. Still, I’m going to have a longer talk with my son.

For help and tips on being less dumb on the subject of identity safegaurds go Like Lifelock on Facebook.

Disclosure: The rockstars at LifeLock (a leader in identity theft protection) were good enough to sponsor this post, but I wrote it all by myself. This is all me, baby. As evidenced by the bad grammar and typos it probably contains. They can’t be held responsible for my thoughts, bad writing or inability to stay within the lines of children’s coloring place-mats at restaurants.


21 Responses to “The Textrix Has You, Neo”

  1. kit says:

    i did something like this to a mom that had posted an ultrasound pic on a pregnancy site. within minutes i knew where she lived where she worked where she’d be giving birth, doctor’s name, general due date and even where her husband worked. she edited the info out of her pic. even as adults we need reminders of internet security.

  2. You are my hero. Hands down. That was awesome.

  3. Mr. Taco wins the internet!

  4. Rebekah says:

    Bahaha, the kid is getting bombarded with taco comments

  5. Mother Duck says:

    Mind hath been blown!

  6. Andy, you’re Mr. Taco, aren’t you?

  7. Christina says:

    That is actually kinda creepy.
    Glad I don’t post my number for random people to call me.

  8. Jess says:

    This never gets old. Ever. Best content incorporation in the history of the internet. ::standing ovation::

  9. Laurie says:

    That is hilarious! Mr. Taco rules!

    • Andy says:

      He does. I believe he’s been made the kind of a small oil barge that was converted into a legal casino that’s anchored just outside international waters. Ehem. Or I just made that up. But he’s pretty damned rad.

  10. Lee Probert says:

    Very funny … made me prolapse.

  11. Mimi says:

    ::slow clap:: Bravo, Mr Taco. Bra. vo.

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