How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Ninja Parent Lessons: Tickle Attacks, Part 2


Ninja Parent Lessons Tickle Attacks Part 2 The Pincers of Insanity Lightning Strike

We tell ourselves and others that we don’t want to coerce our kids. Once we get past that whole “not wanting to sound like a bad parent” thing we admit it. At some point, we do want to. Not forcefully or traumatically. We just want it to stop! Or start!

Look. When a mom or dad is taking pics of the little one’s giant snot bubble or a naked gymnastics, the thought might not occur when they’re pressing the shot button that they’re capturing future blackmail material to torture them with later, but they’ll think of this later. Maybe not right then. But someday…

What about now, though? Something that won’t be traumatic and won’t get us into trouble. Yep. Tickling.

So we look to the masters of both hand-to-hand combat and getting away with things. The ninja. Study well their ancient texts. Learn to control or get revenge on your kid with tickles.

Extreme or prolonged tickling can produce undesirable effects. Tickled for too long, the recipient may experience hyperventilation, loss of consciousness or bladder control, insanity, violent reflexive self-defense maneuvers.

So be on the lookout for early warning signs: panting, red face, sudden and dramatic bodily functions, distressed squealing, “cry-laughter” or begging and pleading for it to stop or simply speaking in tongues.


Maybe it’s not really Ninjabook. But Like our Page anyways. It will never try to assassinate you.

All the Other Ninja Parent Lessons
Part 1 of the Tickle Attacks, The Pillow Paw, The Ankle Claw. Study them.


16 Responses to “Ninja Parent Lessons: Tickle Attacks, Part 2”

  1. I never fail to be amused by the creativity of you two. Pincers of insanity. Fork of lightning. Love it.

  2. Kyle says:

    Love it! Have used both of these! The boy turns 1 next month and is a bundle of ticklable mass! Might I add this:

    which we received as a gift from my brother and his wife. Read it to him for the first time the other night and he giggled accordingly with all the tickling that ensued! Keep up the good work! Your blog gets me through the day until I get home to see my tickle victim!

  3. Catherine says:

    I believe the Geneva convention lists tickling right up there with waterboarding. Good luck in the Hague!! LOL.
    I love tickling my grandson, but I keep in mind sometimes he gets revenge by ralphing up on my clean clothes at the most inopportune moments.

    • Andy says:

      TOTAL Geneva Convention violations going on. Oh my goodness! You have to read the Overdose Warning thoroughly if you’re experiencing tickle-puking. Ha ha ha ha ha!

  4. Aaron says:

    My boys used to run away squealing when Dad (me) brought out the pincers of insanity.

  5. MomOfAdam says:

    utterly priceless blog! I tried all your tickle methods and love the pincers but you have to get a really good grip onto their sides to do it properly!!
    suggest getting plenty of help in the form of uncles and aunts and friends (that’s what we did anyhow)

    and it works particularly well on our 10 year old son if anyone needs any practice!! but beware – for some unknown reason I have overheard him pretending to his friends that he ISN’T really ticklish

    why do boys deny it?

    • Ninja says:

      Usually because saying your not ticklish sometimes thwarts attackers. If your looking for a new techinque my favorite is raspberries (blowing on the tummy), it works very well but sometimes you got to find the right spot! Oh and isn’t there suppose to be a part 3?

  6. MomOfAdam says:

    where would you guess are the most ticklish areas on their tummies? I would say on the dips either side of the belly button just inside the hip bones on the lower tummy.

    ANY contact there can be totally unbearable so they are the best places to concrentrate on – just rest my fingernails there barely touching the skin – and the way the tummy muscles spasm and crawl is enough to make this tickle more and more and more – just make sure you have enough people holding him totally still so you can tickle as long as you like!


  7. JeninCanada says:

    THANK YOU SO MUCH for including the ‘overdose warning’!!! I wish people had that when I was a kid.

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