Types of Facebooking
There are all kinds of ways a person can Facebook. Knowing about them is not only really unimportant, it may be completely useless. But if it has a chance of being at all entertaining, I’m going to write about it.
For those of you that are wondering what this has to do with parenting… wait… hngh! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Sorry I couldn’t keep that one in! Hey, it’s your own fault I laughed. If you can’t see what Facebook has to do with kids then you don’t have any or yours are already well into adulthood, or you’re Amish and cheating by even reading this. Shame on you, sneaky Amish reader. Shhh, don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. Read on.
Let’s take a look at some of the types of Facebooking I’ve noticed in my journeys through the social media wild. I’ll comment along the way. Feel free to read them in a British or Australian accent if you want.
Vaguebooking
That’s it. Just that. It’s a kind of lure, one can only guess. You can almost imagine the poster practically breaking off their refresh button as they try to reel in the comments asking what DID just happen.
Slutbooking
No. Male or female, this post makes you look like a douchebag or douchebagette. The cleavage or wife-beater profile pic only adds to the effect. Throwing in a “just kidding” minimizes nothing.
LOLbooking
Best joke ever. Homemade, right? Could’ve fooled us. We knew it was funny because of the tell-tale LOL. Rejoice, people who are Friends with this person, a good time shall be had by all.
Emobooking
By “look around” is meant scrolling through Facebook and tallying the Likes and comments on other peoples updates, and avidly waiting for reassuring compliments to come rolling in.
Lovebooking
People with someone special in their life already will smile and awwwww at this; people without someone might make… different sounds perhaps. Tubs of ice cream may be involved.
Ragebooking
We get it. You’re so pissed you’re gonna drop an f-bomb right in the middle of your first world problem. Kudos.
Oldbooking
The numbers in the email address of course being her social security number. Have to give these dear ol’ champs credit for giving it the old college effort.
You’ll undoubtedly recognize some, if not all, of these if you’ve spent any time on the Book. Sure, there are a ton of other types that I didn’t include; so join the party and add them into the comments. Just try to avoid the preface “Oh but you forgot…” You see, writers love comments and contribution a lot more than corrections to the comprehensiveness of their writing.
The bottom line is pretty much every kind of Facebooking a person can do out there will seem silly or annoy the shit out of some percentage of their friends. But before you start getting judgmental and writing Facebook again about the inclusion of a Dislike button, remember: what you post is just as silly or annoying to a certain percentage of your friends.
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Instructional Diagrams
Have you pissed yourself laughing. Get ready to.
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Aaron says: 
WeirdFish 
Jenna 
Emma 
Nicki 
Susie 
Kyle 
NerdyLutheranChick 
Anthony 
Corinne 
Christina 
NiIki A 
lawgirl 
Laurie 
Mother Duck 
Jill 
Julia 
Jay 
makeupbyjanine 
tom 
NJJ 
Amanda 
Lane 
Louise 
Catrina 
Emmylou 
AUHSOJ 
Charlotte Corday 
