How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Another Dad of the Year!

Posted by on August 7th, 2012, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

There are a lot of great qualities that one could say define the virtues of great fatherhood.

Building stuff that could thrill and possibly maim your child, well, you win, sir.

Let’s watch.

Not every dad has the gonads to pull off this kind of thing. Or the tools. But this guy is a pro for so many reasons.

So, let’s go through the list here:

A. Safety - Safe as any ride I’ve ever ridden on. In Mexico. On Spring Break. Near crates of fireworks.
B. Education - What better way to learn physics?
C. Handicraft - You gotta learn welding and basic engineering by five years old, right?
D. Finances - Learn business skills! Charge your local neighborhood kids to ride the thing, make some money, cover up some kid getting hurt, eliminate witnesses, employ goons, run from the cops, and become a mob boss. College is for the birds. School of hard knocks to the head by tree branches and stuff.

So, who wants to build one of these in my two-bedroom, three story condo next to a freeway? Couldn’t be a safer, more ideal location.

Shoot me now.

Love and screaming,

Charlie

P.S. Before you judge this video too harshly. Have a look at this…

vintage airplane ride helmet buy

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33 Comments

33 Responses to “Another Dad of the Year!”

  1. Mike says:

    Best! Redneck! Dad! Ever!

  2. Steve says:

    It actually looks fairly well constructed. God help my boy if I ever built him a roller coaster. It would be 10 seconds of joy followed by years of traction and assistive breathing apparatus.

    I think I’ll stick with the Ball Tank at a McDonalds PlayLand. That’s a LOT scarier when you think about who has touched all those non-porous, germ-infested plastic balls. It’s just a primordial stew of streptococcus.

  3. Brian says:

    I have to agree with Steve about the video. The coaster actually looks pretty robust and the kid is having fun, so what’s the issue?

  4. Pete says:

    OK, I’m building one.

  5. Christina says:

    It actually looks very safe and sturdy. It shakes less than the professional wooden roller coasters at an amusement park.

  6. This makes me feel like less of a man.

    -mike

  7. That lady (man?) with the airplane thingamagiggy is my new hero.

  8. I would ride the junk out of that coaster. I just need to lose 100 pounds and find a puffy coat.

  9. Monica says:

    There is no way I would let my kid on that thing. The wood holding it us doesn’t really give me any confidence. I will never show this video to my hubby or he may think he can build that. NO WAY! Over my dead body

  10. Danielle says:

    OMG! I would KILL my husband if he ever put my kid on something like that… Although I have to give the guy an A+ for creativity!

  11. Hottest. Dad. Ever. And I am totally not showing this to my kids… I have to drink coffee and tell my kids to do chores. I DON’T HAVE TIME TO BUILD A ROLLER COASTER IN MY BACKYARD.

  12. And suddenly the trapeze hanging from the maple tree in my backyard sucks. Thanks for killing my childhood memories, Charlie.

  13. Challenge. Accepted.

    (Ok, not really. But damn. My DIY kickass mostly reclaimed wood PlayDeck feels rather inadequate now.)

  14. barbra says:

    I sent this post to my husband and his response: “Looks like a great project. Ours will have at least one loop”

    I’m not sure if he’s kidding or not…

  15. Amy says:

    Long Stick + Roller Coaster = Never a good idea.

  16. beta dad says:

    Bad. Ass. If it’s pvc, you don’t even need welding skills. Just massive amounts of highly neurotoxic glue! I’m drawing up plans for mine right now. It might have to come off the roof though, since we have approximately 12 sq feet of backyard.

  17. Ben says:

    This is brilliant! Although I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that dad is going to wear out a lot faster than the kid. “Again daddy! Do it again!”

  18. Schmutzie says:

    I held my breath throughout that whole video. My god.

  19. Gale says:

    Wow! You found Phineas and Ferb’s back yard!

  20. Rachael says:

    Glad the kid didn’t get hurt, but I basically had a heartattack every time they started over.

    Also can I point out, no matter how much we wish it, we are not cartoons.

  21. Tim says:

    Some folks believe in taking any joy a kid might have away. I suppose see saws and jungle gyms also give these same people nightmares.

    Good grief, we did a lot scarier things as kids ourselves.

    I’d build one if I could but it would need a motor to propel the cart since all my children weigh more than 50 pounds and our side yard has a wicked upward angle.

  22. JediDad says:

    Actually looks pretty solid to me, all things considered. The track looks like PVC and the brackets on the bottom of the “car” look like they have it held solidly on the track. And as a simple out-and-back, there’s not a lot to worry about from undue forces. Get a higher starting hill (maybe off a roof?) and you’ve got enough velocity for a loop…

    Hats off to this dad! And a funny observation – note all the moms who sit there “Holding their breath” through the whole video, and all the dads who go “That’s so dangerous” (How can I pull it off?)

  23. Estelle says:

    So I am a Mom and I think it rocks! Ok i will put a bike/ski hat on my kid’s head before going in the car but I would love to try it… I am pretty sure my dad could calculate the angles and lenght needed to make a loop and how many g-force the kid will take “safely”. Pb will be hte realization ;) lucky kid in this backyard

  24. Stephanie says:

    If we had a backyard I would totally find a way to get this built – we may not have one during their small years – but I’ll have the plans ready for my grandkids!! :) LOVE IT!!

  25. An Idle Dad says:

    Nope I’m giving a non-BS thumbs up on this. Great Dad.

    Not only the energy and skills to make the thing, but the patience and commitment to continuously push his kid up that start.

  26. Christina says:

    Safer than a roof + trampoline + pool!

    Love it!

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