How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Naptime!

Posted by on June 1st, 2012, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY


It looks like our “Bad Product Ideas” are starting to catch on around these here internet parts. Someone has created a fake infomercial for “Naptime” – a simple, effective spray solution for kids who throw tantrums that looks surprisingly like a windex spray bottle.

Let’s watch…

Don’t watch this if you don’t want to be pissed off… Trust me.

A word to the creators of Naptime:
You had a good thing going, guys. There were a couple funny parenting jokes. But the “putting a baby in a garbage disposal” and “punching a pregnant woman in the stomach” jokes, etc.? That’s just just f*cking pussydoodles. Pretty sure you forgot racism and homophobia in your sketch too. Do you actually have kids?

We may not be the most popular dad blog or the funniest, but we have kids. Those idiotic jokes? Please come over and make them in our vicinity.

——

So, what do you guys think of “Naptime!” spray? Am I just being sensitive like a nipple that’s been breastfed on by octuplets?

I’ve had a rough week. But you all have a great weekend!

Snuggles & Hand Grenades,

Charlie

-

Facebook Party!
It’s like Naptime! for your brain.

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They’re being stolen on the Internet in droves!
 

78 Comments

78 Responses to “Naptime!”

  1. Jason says:

    Chloroforming children, putting a baby in a garbage disposal and calling it defective because it’s crying a lot, bags over children’s heads, calling them “wallet draining crap factories,” keeping an infant in a shoebox, punching a pregnant woman? No, Charlie, you are not being sensitive.

    I’ve got a got a spray bottle for these idiots. It’s called discipline. If your child is out of control, perhaps you would like to dig into the actual work of parenting and discipline your children. I know that even the most lovingly disciplined children will act out, and we all have moments where we regret having children. But seriously?!? This is your funny solution to out of control kids?!?

    One of the things I love about this site is that you acknowledge the hard work that parenting is. There is no plastic smile, “Isn’t parenting the most greatest thing in the whole wide world?” facade. You are honest about what it is like to be a parent, but there is a constant thread of a deep and enduring love for children. I wonder if these knuckleheads even have kids.

  2. Josie says:

    I don’t think you are being sensitive. As parents we all have our “our kids are acting like jerks today ” jokes. But we all love our kids and would do anything for them. Jokes about killing babies and hurting pregnant women? They are lame jokes that have no imagination. No parent would ever go that low.

  3. Nicole says:

    Yep. I completely agree with you! This could have been really funny, but the disposal scene, the punching scene, even the scene with the couple on the date really put me off. It’s already bad enough (and funny enough) to think of giving your kids chloroform just to get some peace and quiet. They didn’t need to take it any further… And taking it further just crossed a very inappropriate boundary. I’m guessing, too, that they don’t have kids. I have certainly become more sensitive since having my daughter not quite three years ago. But I can still appreciate a good joke. This could have been a good joke… could have been.

    P.S. My daughter insisted on adding her own thoughts. Hope you don’t mind: kkkjikjknjkykjhhujjjyjy7yyyy758555yjijjj0ejjjyjjjjjjjjjjjyyyi0j8yy953ajijy55oiaj33ijaaaaaitjii5uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuatttttttttttttttttttuuuu

  4. Brian says:

    I think that the premise is funny and it definitely had potential, but a lot of the gags were over the line.

  5. Jay says:

    Wow. I accidentally shared that with my wife, before I had watched the whole thing. I agree with Brian above – funny premise, up to the point they named it as chloroform (which should have been obvious) and after that, it was all way over the line.

  6. Julie says:

    That was not cool…like, at all…
    Suffocating children and punching pregnant ladies?

    What was the point of that?

  7. TV James says:

    I wish your disclaimer had been above the video (or you’d just linked out to website). It starts out funny but I wish I hadn’t watched that.

    • charlie says:

      I just put one over the top of the video… :/

      • TV James says:

        Thanks. The part with the garbage disposer was what put it too far over the top for me. I can appreciate what they were doing – it almost would have worked on SNL, down to the well-played doctor bit and that it would have been much better only half as long.

        But in a world where people do absolutely rehensible things to one another and to children and to babies, we don’t need ideas like this, even in humor. I know it’s just me, but those types of images stick in my head for far too long and can’t be unwatched.

        So to those who can let it roll off and think nothing of it, good for you. But no need to belittle those who have a little harder time with stuff like this.

  8. Monica says:

    They crossed several lines. We all have moments where we are stressed out and I get that infomercials are suppose to make things look worse than real life, but that was too much. The couple spraying the infant saying they regretted having a child. What kind of crap is that?? The dream sack not to mention what charlie already listed. That wasn’t funny at all. I love this blog. I come back b/c it has heart and makes me smile. That clip was just awful. I would spray naptime on the people who made that awful thing. Have a great weekend Charlie. Enjoy the family.

  9. SLM says:

    And the date rape joke! How charming.
    No.

  10. Melissa says:

    Don’t you understand satire? a funny parody. I think you are being over sensitive! Maybe it’s a culture thing as I’m British.

  11. Eric says:

    Insert Casey Anthony joke here.

    Funny, but awful.

  12. Tina Reher says:

    This could have been funny, it just wasn’t…

    Yes I get it was meant as either a jab at parents at large for our at times tense relationship with our childrens sleeping habits OR maybe a sort of oh it’s funny because it is an overblown version of the truth about parenting, but this was just not funny. Honestly it reminded me more of a horrific episode of Criminal Minds more than comedy.

  13. Stephanie K. says:

    I read your description and a few comments and that was enough for me to NOT watch the video. Thats f****d up. Not ok at all.

  14. Pam says:

    It was funny except for the punching the pregnant lady!

  15. WeirdFish says:

    My disclaimer: my wife is 37 weeks pregnant and I for one cannot wait to meet my little guy. I would even dare say that after we got married, I was the one who wanted kids before she did.

    With that said, yes, I believe there is a hypersensitivity going on here.

    It’s so blatantly obvious between the theme and the acting that it’s a complete and utter parody of not only ridiculous infomercials with the contrived ineptitude of activities before the so-called revolutionary product, but the very inept and enabling parenting that many of you are criticizing.

    While the punch-in-the-stomach scene did make my guts twist because two of my friends have suffered miscarriages and my wife and I have gone through a lot ourselves just to get to this point and have a pregnancy take, we have to look at stuff like this outside of our own emotional contexts.

    In fact, the chloroform scene WAS the punch-line, because if you watch it more objectively (and given the rush to conclusions here, I understand that it’s not possible to remove the emotion here), you’ll note that the “editors” quickly tried to move past that scene but left it in “accidentally.”

    Thus, the dark humor — especially the “shoebox” couple who KEPT spraying it.

    Use it on pets, use it on annoying golf partners. That alone was clue enough that this is satirizing people who are unable to cope with life.

    Children just happened to be the mechanism to get that message across, not “chloroform your kids.”

    • TV James says:

      Congrats! I hope the birth is absolutely uneventful.

      Watch this video again in 12 weeks and see if you don’t just have a different take.

    • Thorsten says:

      I fully agree to this take, including the analysis that the chloroform statement is the tipping point of the video. I cringed in a lot of scenes (and not just because I am a father of two) and certainly didn’t laugh at the end anymore, but I still think it’s a very good satire. Good satire has to hurt a bit to drive the point home.

      I would say it mostly goes against those seeking any easy recipe for solving the hardships of raising children or being in life in general ;).

      Kind regards,
      Thorsten

    • Anon says:

      Completely agree with this.
      It’s dark humour. It doesn’t condone its content, merely satirises it.

    • Todd Carlson says:

      So, the first time I saw this video, a lot of the really cringeworthy parts were taken out and I laughed hysterically. Personally, after seeing the whole video, I really didn’t care for the mom being punched in the stomach and the child being thrown in the trunk just made me think of poor Caylee Anthony. I can understand how some would be offended by it, personally I wasn’t offended, but I did like the edited version of it much better. I have a pretty wicked sense of humor and I make crude jokes, but I can understand how some may be offended…..simply because there are so many people in our society who actually DO these things.

  16. Russ says:

    The concept is hilarious. They just abused the power of shock humor on a couple of those jokes and it went from funny to *meh* for me. In the end, those parts just weren’t funny…again, to ME. My personal opinion is that if a joke isn’t funny, then don’t laugh. That has an awful sting to it all on it’s own.

    In other news, I’m highly offended at your using of the word “pussydoodles.” My brain was sent on a horrific journey trying to picture exactly WHAT in the world a pussydoodle is? Is it a piece of artwork? A raisnet-like thing? A skinny person with rubbery arms?

    How dare you!

  17. Mac says:

    This video was awful and offensive… and I laughed all the way through it. I have a one year old myself and I truly believe humor is the only way to survive being a parent.

    • La Tomate says:

      Absolutely.

      I have a 3 year old, apple of my eye, love her to the moon and back… but JEEBUS wept… the whining ;-)

      If I didn’t use humour, I wouldn’t have survived this long… ;-)

  18. Roby says:

    Funny premise. Poor execution. Let us not waist our brain cells on this any further gents. Rise above.

  19. Wow.

    Aside from the obvious Casey Anthony implication (as someone stated earlier), that’s just downright terrible.

    This video makes the mistake soooo many people make when they try to be funny for the parent set: they go right over the top. As much as we like to joke around about our kids and be silly, we actually still do really love them.

    That’s what happens when idiots who aren’t parents make videos. And I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt that they aren’t parents. Because if they are…

    • Mom101 says:

      I think that’s what I was feeling too. It wasn’t really about how our own kids drive us crazy. I’ve seen hilarious essays about that.

      It felt like was more from the perspective of people who don’t have kids, who are like “ugh, just stop the whining. It makes me want to kill your kid.”

  20. Canadian Dad says:

    That was terrible. I laughed for the first 5 seconds and then it lost me.

    I’m not sure if I’m more upset because it was horribly offensive or because it just wasn’t funny at all.

    Sorry to hear about your dog Charlie, and your teeth….and the sleeping… Just sorry in general I guess. Chin up, at least you still have the funniest Dad blog on the interweb!!

  21. Drew says:

    I thought it was funny, but I can totally see it’s not for everyone. It’s a bit over the top, but I think it’s aimed at people who like shows like “Family Guy” or “Married with Children”. If you find this seriously offensive you probably haven’t been on the Internet very long. And I don’t mean that as an insult, it’s just that as these things go, this one is nothing.

  22. Mom101 says:

    “If it bends, it’s funny. If it breaks…not funny.”

  23. I think the intent of the video WAS to be over the top. Extreme. And I think it has a lot to do with how many kids you have and how stressed you are at the time you watched it, whether or not you found it funny. Yes, disturbing in many ways, but really…. I have a 12 year old, 8 year old and 3 year old.

    It’s like boogie man spray for parents. Sasquatch repellant. LOL. They should have left it as just a parent spray, not other uses, and they should have left out the doctor identifying chlorophorm.

    But I’m not totally disgusted.

  24. Billy says:

    Sorry guys!! Kids are amazing and I love them, (I have 17 nieces and nephews that I help babysit) but that doesn’t mean you can’t joke about how much work they are, as all of us have done…

    How many of you guys that are “offended” by this video have ever said “my kids are driving me crazy!” or “it’s weird to have a night without kids crying!” when you get a babysitter? How many of you laughed when you said it? Cause if you’ve ever said that, I am hereby offended. It means that if you’ve ever said that, you must not actually love kids.. Right? Or you wouldn’t say that, right?

    Oh wait.. Maybe you were joking… Hrm… Yes I see now. Not just a hat rack my friends.

    • Stefan says:

      Hm.
      What you are doing now is comparing apples to supercolliders.

      It’s not about the fact of “kid jokes” in themselves – it’s the extremely bad usage of bad humor. Rape Jokes? Endangering unborn children? Using chloroform to “put down” your kids? THAT’s the problem.

      Otherwise, you could be offended by every Jew who sends his kids to school. TECHNICALLY almost the same – being registered and watched all day. And since there are schools that take the kids in for several months… well you see where this is going.
      __

      However there seem to be some people who cannot stand the kid jokes in themselves. In those cases what you said is true =)

  25. James says:

    It is the ignorant people who make jokes like this. Having kids I could never think these skits being funny.

  26. VinnyBoy says:

    Hey, guess what. This skit was hilarious. If you think it’s ‘idiotic’, that’s just you being a bitch..

    Lol. Bitch.

    Hopefully your kids don’t grow up to be such bitches.

  27. MarkJ says:

    Funny premise… But WTF?!?! Horrible direction and delivery! I want to punch the creators in the gut followed by a few blows to the head from my bat! That’s my version of Nap time

  28. Stefan says:

    This was… interesting. Not so moch because of the content, but..

    okay, let me explain. I am a man who LOVES to pull any joke at any given time, especially when it it inappropriate. In defense, my mind seems to be checking for the necessary kind of joke to get me in trouble, but what the hell. Got my share of (luckily verbal) beatings out of it.

    But, there are lines even I wouldn’t dare cross. For parents, this video definetly contains several attacks and is partially very disturbing. It is one thing to think about “dang, I could use some barbiturates right now for the little one” and actually see it done. Or, in this case, see it performed. And never would I dare to attack a parent – willingly or otherwise – with jokes like that. Although I must admit, this comes from bad experience. I was dumb, once, as well =)

    Now the interesting part: childless people (or god forbid, parents who hate children) WILL find this funny. IT has everything – rudeness, sensitive jokes, those annoying brats getting hurt, you get the idea.

    So, in answer to your question: as a parent, you definetly are NOT too sonsitive. And I totally agree – come, make those jokes at arm’s length, should be VERY funny then…

  29. Ashlea says:

    hilarious, i have an 8mo on my lap, and my ready to pop pregnant friend and i nearly wet ourselves with laughter. im sorry but take it as the joke it was intended to be, dont pretend you’ve never laughed at something innapropriate. its a joke! :)

  30. Sean says:

    I agree with what some others have said… Funny premise, terrible execution, and some stuff over the line. The over the line stuff might not have been so bad if it was actually funny. But the whole thing just comes across as having been made by self-centered non-parents. Oh, and did I mention it’s not actually funny?

    (by the way, I’m British, understand satire, and still think its not funny. It’s not cultural)

  31. Ashley says:

    WOW.

  32. Jason says:

    I love it when some people get self-righteous. It’s ironic how the religious right and the politically correct left both use the same tactics to make people feel bad or guilty for what we think.

    I laughed all the way through this. If you think that makes me a bad parent, then keep making your cupcakes, planning your child’s every activity, and see how long it takes until you burn out. It’s gallows humor folks. We need it sometimes to stay sane as parents, and sane parents = better parents.

    If we are over sensitive parents, we will have overly sensitive children. It’s not an easy world out there folks. Get a thicker skin and laugh more, or life only gets tougher.

    While we are on the subject over possibly being overly sensitive and overly protective, check this out: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/19/science/19tierney.html

    • Dawn says:

      Hahaha…. I totally agree!
      I grew up playing on the monkey bars too! That made me laugh! I actually fell off hanging upside down and got knocked out, but two weeks later when I returned to school I was right back on the monkey bars playing like nothing happened!
      I remember my parents telling us stuff like your fine just walk it off. When now days parents would rush there kids to the ER for the samething. Parents now days are way to sensitive and they wonder why there still taking care of there 25 year old children that wont work. Lol oh wait I’m ranting now sorry!

  33. Alex Wojtak says:

    Wow. If you react that strongly to that, I hope you never watch ‘Jam’. That’s the old Chris Morris comedy show specialising in very very dark humour. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6p5ORHRnXs

    In both of these sketches, the comedy comes from going well over the line.

  34. Susie says:

    Thaaaaaaaaaaaat’s not funny at all. They completely lost me at shpritzing anything in a newborn’s face. You’re not over sensitive, this just stinks.

  35. Kathy V. says:

    I don’t think you’re being over-sensitive. I think they took what could have been a hilarious concept (I myself have joked about chloroform) and made it rather upsetting — mostly with, as you mentioned, putting the baby in the garbage disposal and punching the pregnant woman. I think they took it too far, which is unfortunate, because I really do feel like it could have been very funny.

  36. Erich says:

    At least I’m not the only one who laughed. Yes, the execution was flawed and because of that the satire was destroyed but come on… It’s still funny! I’m a father of two wonderful little kids and I love them to absolute bits (though not rendered by a garbage disposal) and I laughed throughout the clip. There have been times when my daughter was just completely inconsolable. Hours dragged on like eons and she’d fuss fuss fuss. Sure, I’d pop her butt if she hit me or her baby brother but I didn’t threaten to chop her up or drug her. Though I did threaten to summon Scary Dragon.

  37. Mest says:

    Dear everyone in world, we all make fun and joke about things we are not sensitive to, we all defend things we are sensitive to when they are joked about.

    Take a step back, realise that nothing you ever do or say will ever please everybody.

    Then laugh, because Comedy is not a point of view, an opinion, or an endorsement of the content used. Its Comedy.

  38. Bretta says:

    Being over the top is what makes it funny. Is being serious & showing more true to life abuse better? I don’t want to watch a video like that. Yes I am a Mom & I love my kid more than life but come on folks, it’s a satitical video about drugging your kids to shut them up. If the thought has never crossed your mind then please by all means send me your parenting guide.

  39. Robb says:

    Now that shit was funny as hell. Crotch fruit is annoying as hell and that stuff would come in handy.

    What will be even more amusing is the replies and eventual banning I will receiving.

  40. jeff c says:

    They should have their procreation card revoked, just in case they were serious.

  41. Cal says:

    You’re right, it was rather shite. Not nearly enough pregnant women punching.

  42. dawn says:

    I have three kids. I thought it was funny!

  43. I couldn’t watch past a few seconds. That was just sick.

  44. Sorry for double-posting, but I watched some more, and… Well, you know that horrible feeling of disgusted shock that makes you feel hot all over?
    Yeah, my sister had a miscarriage yesterday. I laid in her bed and held her and listened to her talk about the baby she wouldn’t have.
    Sorry if you didn’t want to read that, but maybe you shouldn’t have been laughing at this sick and cruel travesty.
    (Only aimed at the people actually laughing; I did read the post and some of the more serious comments.)

  45. dawn says:

    The video was a joke, raising kids is stressful no parent would ever actually do that. (In most cases obviously) laughter is a good way to relieve stress if you cant laugh then you’ll never be able to get through the rough times of raising your children. I have kids from ages 8 to 17 trust me there comes a lot of tears with raising your kids and laughing is good medicine. I love my kids with all my heart and would die for them. I laughed at this video I know a joke when I see one. I also have had loved ones that lost children obviously if I thought this was serious I would think it was horrible, that being said people need to learn to laugh an relax. We see worse at the movies!

  46. kirk says:

    Very funny.. punching the pregnant women awesome..only thing that should have been added is before the guy punched his wife would be to trip the kid And give him a good kick

  47. Jessica says:

    For goodness sakes, lighten up. Its aim is basic humor. Daytime TV shows make jokes worse than this.

  48. Chad says:

    Seriously? This is a parody. Obviously no one would really do this. If you’re offended, it’s only because you choose to be. Anytime you laugh at nut shots on America’s Funniest Videos, or an accident on Ridiculousness, or any one of another shows where bad things happen to real people, then preach on here about a parody where no one was hurt, you prove yourself a hypocrite. And don’t spaz at me just because you claim to have never watched these show. You have laughed at some time at someone else’s misfortune. This is a parody to give people an outlet about the stresses of parenting. And none of it is REAL! Put your big boy and girl panties on and deal with it.

  49. Sami says:

    I thought it was funny at first, until the garbage disposal. Clever middle bit, loved the doctor, but should have been less violent. The kids passed out were so cute and funny, well done acting by them!

  50. dustin says:

    There is no, ‘over the line.’ Its funny.

  51. luba says:

    Once I read “putting a baby in a garbage disposal” I decided not to watch it. I can’t think of anyone I know who would find that funny unless they actually hated children. If you find it funny, you probably don’t want to hang with parents who actually love their kids.

  52. bryan says:

    this video is hysterical. its easy to enjoy without hating children.

  53. Marry says:

    Man that is great, I am sure it was a joke.

  54. Jeannine says:

    Okay, so you posted this parody…in which no one was actually harmed, so that you can bash it for being offensive…when in fact it was just a joke. Do you honestly have nothing better to do? Do you really consider this an affront to children and healthy families? If you are offended by this is because you can’t simply see it as a joke and ignore it, then you’re a hypersensitive parent who needs to learn the difference between a personal attack and an exaggerated parody…You’ve obviously been trapped in kiddie land for too long.

  55. Alyssa says:

    OMG IM SUING THESE PEOPLE… CHILD CRULITY!!!

  56. Bruce says:

    I love my daughter. I would never do anything like that to her. I can see where people would get offended, but overall, it was funny. I never laughed so hard! “I keep her in a shoe box” haha! Good work!

  57. Chrystal says:

    So I seem to be in the minority.. I thought the video was well done satire and funny in that sense (the sense that good satire should also make you uncomfortable or upset because it’s based in truth). But then I read the comments- some people seem to be completely seeing it differently than I did, and so they’re either getting offended or finding it hilarious for completely different reasons than I did.
    I started out thinking this was a simple “Ugh kids are so awful sometimes I wish there was something we could do. Do you feel my pain at how hard it is?” But then when the kids passed out and they so blatantly were calling it chloroform and using it on everyone and going on about things being so much quieter and easier- I found it really spoke to me about how so many of us expect perfection and quiet and easy from our kids and from life. Just this ridiculous assumption that everyone and everything should be simple. And of course infomercials themselves feed off of that- they’re usually those kinds of products. So to me, this was funny because I thought “Yep, our society is pretty messed up. Kids aren’t perfect or easy any more than we are and trying to use all the methods people use to just shut them up is just ridiculous and cruel.”
    But I admit I could have completely missed it myself and it actually meant what most people are thinking. And if so, then I wouldn’t find it funny. Interesting how that works.

  58. Elliott says:

    I think your being a little sensitive. It’s supposed to be over the top viewer descression is advised sure but it’s all a joke. I don’t think the creators of the video intended for someone to put a bag over their child’s head or to put their baby in a garbage disposal. I don’t think they intended to devalue children either. It’s a lot like the saying I could strangle you right now. Everyone gets frustrated when their kids act up sometimes and this was just a comedy skit that took that and made it outrageous. Humor today does go to far occasionally and I can understand that the video might of upset you but that being said I’ve seen a guy show a picture of a bible that he had came on an then posted in a discussion on FB. Ignore the assholes and move on and maybe in this case I’m one of them but seriously I’m half black and my friends would call me kunta kinte it’s ok to laugh at horrible things sometimes. If you read Calvin and Hobbes they ask why do we laugh at some of the horrible things that happen cuz sometimes we don’t know how else to process the reality of how awful it is so we laugh. I’m not saying they are in the right but gear up cuz this is the world we live in and it’s better to be the one laughing then the one pissed off

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