How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

The Super Mega PERIOD

Posted by on May 29th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

The Super Mega PERIOD

Not that kind of “period.” The period that ends a sentence. Or in this case, unleashes armageddon on an entire line of discussion and debate, or backtalk festivals and whiney begging campaigns, in the case of children and politicians.

When you’re trying to give a final answer on a subject that won’t seem to end, don’t lob a STFU grenade, it’ll just blow up in your face. The person who was just meanly grinding away at your composure will only immediately adopt a wounded expression and say something like, “How… how could you say that to me?”

So, don’t get mad or frustrated and blow your top. Use the Super Mega PERIOD. It is no ordinary punctuation mark. It is the A-bomb of all symbols, and marks the final and absolute end. Call it a peace-and-quiet-maker if you will. KaBOOM!

Be careful though. Sometimes its awesome power can cause a shock wave that has trees leaning away and bystanders ducking and covering behind mailboxes. Use it responsibly and use it sparingly.

You’re welcome.

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33 Comments

33 Responses to “The Super Mega PERIOD”

  1. Tina Reher says:

    THANK YOU!

    That will come in handy for the next family-in-law function.

  2. Laurie says:

    I must admit this is not what I thought this was going to be about, I am relieved! I like this kind MUCH MUCH better!

    • Andy says:

      Yeah, that definition of the word “period” kind of muscles its way to the front of one’s mind, even when one doesn’t want it too. ;)

  3. Monica says:

    If you add a handle to the back of it, then your really can just KABOOM the Super Mega Period. I love it. I don’t know how you guys come up with such clever ideas but please keep them coming.

  4. Someone says:

    The picture showing a big red splash really didn’t help us NOT think of that kind of period.

  5. Gayle Johnson says:

    I don’t know: a super mega period is sometimes very, very welcome instead of the alternative that arrives 40 weeks later. And tortures you for the next … oh, that’s right, the rest of your life. I have a 15 year old who is trying to kill me with stress, I apologize for my poor attitude.

    • Andy says:

      Don’t apologize. Just hit print. Make sure you specify 40-50 copies. If you’ve got a 15yo, then you’re going to need to get some spare ink cartridges.

  6. From the looks of that last photo, it looks like you’re talking about a different kind of period.

    Though I present the super mega period once a month and it doesn’t seem to have the same effect on my husband.

    Ha.

  7. MotherDuck says:

    Ha ha ha! I’m printing out a bunch of these right now and they are going to sit on my desk right next to my WTF stamp! Thank you for your public service.

  8. Shilpa says:

    Captain America has one of these on the front of his shield for when Tony Stark is being a wanker.

  9. Evonne says:

    you say to use them carefully…but would several hiding (umm…er…plastered all over the walls) in each room, a handful in my pockets, and a really gigantic one on the wall of my son’s room be too many??

    or – this would be a great one to have made into a shirt. Then I’d always have one handy :)

    • Timmeh says:

      The shirt idea rocks, I’d buy one. There are so many times it would be useful – just zip open your jacket at work and BAM!

    • Andy says:

      Probably not too many. You only have to worry when you need to rent 4 printers at a time at the local business supply store. ;)

      The t-shirt idea is genius. Very superhero. Touché!

  10. Simon says:

    Great idea. My only concern is that my wife will take a look at this and immediately ask why I have to be such a “giant pussy hole”, then I’ll have to give her a horrible papercut with said pussy hole (or Period, as you’d like to call it) and then it’s suddenly a bloody period and everyone’s freakin out. That’s about when one of my sons (or all three) will walk in and ask “what’s a bloody period”. It all just goes down hill from there. Maybe I could just hold up a giant question mark and let my 4 year old scream “Why?” over and over again. More realistic.

  11. jco says:

    so strong. love it.

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