How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Slack Friday!

Posted by , under EQUIPMENT

Black Friday for slackers

So, listen…

We know you’re “going to shop” today for Black Friday and also “probably shop” on Monday using the Internet, whatever that is, for Cyber Monday. Holiday shopping. Yay!

But here’s the deal… We wanted to do a post where you:

    1. Laugh.
    2. See cool stuff.
    3. Buy cool/weird stuff.
    4. Could support us at the same time.

Obviously, we aren’t selling ads or sleeping on beds filled with $100 dollar bills. So, instead, maybe you want to click a few of these links, if you’re to going to buy stuff and be all consumery, and perhaps help two dads. We only have 7 jobs between the two of us.

If you don’t, we won’t cry about it, but we’d love it if you would…

First, off maybe you could shop at our merch store?

We have a merch store now. It's magical.
Get a 15% discount there by using the coupon code “WELOVEZAZZLE”.

Without further ABLAB, here’s let’s start with some cool stuff:

1. DIY Ice Cream Maker
America’s the most obese country? So, what. Let’s party with some soft-serve ice cream at home. At least that way I’ll get a perfect balance of vanilla and chocolate. Or just chocolate for that matter. And for that price? Someone left off a zero somewheres and I’m not telling. Seriously. I need this. Someone buy it for me. Right now.

Buy the Cuisinart ICE-45 Mix It In Soft Serve 1-1/2-Quart Ice-Cream Maker HERE!

2. Handerpants
This might be in the “weird” category, but you need underpants for your hands. Stocking stuffer? Yep. Amazing invention. Double yep. Don’t question why, just go with it for a second. Underpants support a very important area. Your hands are also important. Ergo… You need underwear for your hands. Just buy them. Nuff said. Right?

Buy Accoutrements Handerpants here!

3. Nintendo Controller Wallet
Call us nerds. Or nostalgic. Call us Nintendo gamers. This wallet is rad. We all need wallets to carry the $0’s of dollars we have and ID cards we’re required to use, on our person. A nintendo wallet reminds us that we’re only children once but we can be immature the rest of our lives. And that’s good enough for me.

Buy a Nintendo – Controller Bi-fold Wallet here!

And, now, the CRAZY SH#T:

1. Wolf Urine
This product is 100% real urine to create the illusion of predators in any place you want… If only it worked on toddlers, I might take a shower with the stuff. I need all the protection I can get from these crazy guys. Apparently, you can’t ship it to California but, hey, we don’t need it right?

Buy 32 oz of Wolf Urine here!

2. Canned Unicorn Meat
Talk about stocking stuffer! It looks like a can of spam. The can has rainbows and a tag line “Magic in every bite!”. Frightened yet? Let’s keep going. Voldemort would’ve loved this thing, but, alas, there’s no actual meat in the can. It’s just a dismembered stuffed unicorn, which by our estimation, could be equally creepy in some respects. ::CHOKING HAZARD FOR KIDS UNDER 3 YEARS OLD!::

Pick up some Canned Unicorn Meat

3. Glow-in-the-Dark Toilet Paper
Don’t even ask us how this works. We’re not scientists. Nor are we wizards. Unless you count the wizardry of getting our wives to marry us. We certainly all could use this. How many times have you used a restroom in your home and not wanted to turn on that horrible fan-light and wake up your child(ren)? Too many to count, we’re guessing. Problem solved. Except then your bum might be useful as a flashlight as well.

Buy Glow in the Dark Toilet Roll here!


10 Responses to “Slack Friday!”

  1. Vanessa says:

    Lol! The ice cream maker is the only one i’m seriously considering, but after wrestling with people in walmart for black friday deals, i’d rather wait for cyber monday *sigh*

  2. Ericka says:

    I don’t shopt in any form on Black Friday! I have done most of my shopping online already, but I’ll be checking in on the some things during Cyber Monday. I’m a little disapointed, though…I’m really looking for honey badger urine!? Wolf urine just won’t cut it! lol

    • andy says:

      No worries this post and our little Shop of Horrors will be here tomorrow and beyond. That said, WE WANT HONEY BADGER URINE, TOO!!! Let us know what you come up with.

  3. Buffi says:

    The TP is very scary. I shudder to contemplate the allergic reaction that might occur & its implications…..

  4. I know this is too much information to share but I have seen glow in the dark toilet paper AFTER its been used.

  5. […] Charlie @howtobeadad shares some great (and a few disturbing but hilarious) holiday shopping finds such as a Nintendo controller wallet and canned unicorn meat in his post, Slack Friday […]

  6. Christina says:

    So…didn’t think any of these would make good christmas presents (except the unicorn meat for my D&D playing brothers-in-law)…

    However, you think the wolf urine would keep the squirrels from eating my dad’s Christmas lights???

  7. Mmmmmmm….Unicorn meat! Excellent gift idea. Nothing but the best for my family, I always say!

  8. Wallet Fan says:

    I really like the nintendo control wallet. I’d like it better if it doubled as a nintendo control :/

  9. Heidi says:

    Wolf Urine is the wackiest one, but handerpants are a close second. If they were black, I’d buy them 😀

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