How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

“Disposable” Before & After a Baby


Disposable before and after having a baby

Words have a habit of taking on different meanings and associations from different circumstances or points of view. Becoming a parent isn’t just a change, it’s massive reconstructive surgery for your life. “Disposable” is just one of the words with multiple definitions and associations that may undergo a shift. “Monitor” may once have had something to do with a computer, but post-baby it takes on an entirely different meaning. Words that were once naughty can become nice, as in “Do you know where he hid his other bootie?” or “Look at how long this nipple is! Will it fit on our bottles?”

There’s probably a long, hilarious list of examples I could give, but honestly, the majority of the time I’ve spent putting together this post, I’ve had hiccups so massive that Tesla could have figured out how to power New York with the kinetic energy. EVERY 6-10 SECONDS! I timed it! Very distracting! ARG!!! Of course, you may be wondering now if this has something to do with the post and if I’m going to cleverly tie it all back in somehow. Uhhhh yeah, sorry about that whole anticlimactic disappointment thingy.

Anyways… when you’ve got a little munchkin of your own, trust me, it’s worth every redistributed penny and every plastic sack of “previously loved” diapers. For those rare moments when it doesn’t seem like it’s worth it, just remember that there’s no going back. Resignation can be a big comfy blanket you can smother yourself with when you need to.


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23 Responses to ““Disposable” Before & After a Baby”

  1. Brenna says:

    Two words: CLOTH DIAPERS! One outlay of money saves thousands (yes thousands!) down the line. I was not interested in them at all. I would never EVER cloth diaper. Well we all know how declaring you’ll never do something works out… It’s actually quite simple to do- there’s no pins and rubber pants involved. The pocket diapers go on like a disposable and are adjustable so they fit from birth to potty training. Pretty awesome, right? Right. Forget the green movement or the other hippy reasons to CD. I do it because I’d rather spend $150 on diapers once, rather than all my $$$ monthly.

    • andy says:

      I like your argument, very convincing pitch! Especially the part about those damned hippies! Ha ha ha ha! Just kidding. But really, I wish we’d done that for all three.

      Thankfully Lucas is approaching non-diaperhood. All us parents of older kids know that that transition is occasionally using cloth diapers… in the form of underwear. πŸ˜‰

      • Lacey says:

        The best thing about cloth diapers is that you can often sell them back online at nearly the same amount you paid out. If you plan to have more than one kid, it’s really the way to go. … and I tried. I really did. But I didn’t start with one-size diapers and ended up going through three sizes in 3 months. I was frightened of committing to any more diapers until his growth slowed down. Then I tried again, and this kid pees about 4 gallons every 20 minutes. Disposables can absorb it, although he burns through them at a painful rate. But even with doublers I couldn’t seem to make the cloth diapers keep up with him, and the daycare couldn’t use them. So we’re trying to potty train early.

        I did everything else on earth we could to try to save money, most of the time with little cooperation with our little deduction. Homemade food was eaten with gusto… until it was chilled, and he refused to eat purees past the first month. So I couldn’t make any for him to eat at the daycare, and all the equipment we bought went to waste-did sell it 1/2 price, but it was barely used πŸ™ The only thing he embraced whole-heartedly was breast-feeding, and so far he hasn’t objected to the second-hand clothes and toys. But the diaper thing does hurt πŸ™

    • Valery says:

      Us, too! I was scared of the whole idea of cloth diapering at first but we spent a little over $200 on our complete setup and haven’t spent a dime on diapers since and she’s almost two now! And no burden of guilt of filling our outside roll cart with diapers once a week!

      To be fair, we probably have seen a slight bump in our water and power consumption from the extra laundry but the water went up like, a dollar, and if there was a power difference, it was totally overshadowed by the space heater we had to get for her room.

      PS – 4 packs of thin baby washcloths from the dollar store make excellent cloth butt wipes!

  2. “Previously Loved” diapers… that is brilliant. You guys never disappoint.

    I’m thankful that hiccups don’t last long in this house because my kids and I are in a constant battle to scare the shit out of each other. We are ninjas, after all.

    • andy says:

      (bowing humbly)

      Ha ha ha ha ha! That’s amazing. Lizzie doesn’t try to scare the bajeezies out of me because it doesn’t work, but sometimes she’ll tickle my ribs at the right second and create the most atrocious and convulsive croak of a hiccup you can imagine. Actually beyond what you can image.

  3. Melinda says:

    Ah, yes. Remember the days when you went to Costco, spent $1500, and came out with a new flat screen? Now you spend $1500 and it’s a hogshead of juice boxes, diapers, and wipes.
    What really makes me chuckle is when my childless friends say, “But you get a tax deduction!” Uh, yeah. Which covers the cost of diapers for about a month.

  4. Pam says:


  5. Jeff says:

    Good article πŸ™‚ my wife and I just updated our budget and we are more poor than before, but the bills are paid and sometimes it seems living on less let’s us spend more quality time together doing creative family things that are free or cheap. I hate diapers but I’m so glad we have them, I can’t imagine not being able to get things like diapers for our kids. I guess I have a love/hate relationship with diapers.

    My friend the other day came over and put my wife’s breast feeding pillow behind his neck and said that it was a little big for him to use as a head rest. When I told him it was a breast feeding pillow we all laughed. Having friends without kids is great sometimes. πŸ™‚

    • Manda says:

      No kidding. BIL is having his first next spring and he is completely clueless. He’s never had any baby interaction besides being the only person who can always ALWAYS make my kids laugh.

      The last time we visited, we asked him to buckle kiddo in her car seat (our hands were full). He buckled the shoulder straps under her arms! LOL

    • andy says:

      Breastfeeding pilLOL!!!

      Yeah there’s being wealthy and there’s being rich in life. My family makes me rich. And make me the opposite of wealthy. πŸ˜‰

      Thanks for writing in!

  6. Tim says:

    Google BumGenius!!

  7. Yeah, disposable income. Don’t see that much anymore.I’m working on an article for a big financial blog about the cost of raising a baby in year 1. You always hear about the total cost to raise a kid, like $250k through age 18, but you never hear about year 1. that’s the one I care about because quite frankly, that’s the one I was worried i wouldn’t make it through. Anyway, it’s out soon. Who comes up with these numbers, $250k. Do they follow around a family for 18 years and get receipts. Dumbasses.

    • andy says:

      Wow! No way I’m blowing three quarters of a mill on my three lads! Sorry, buddies, you’re gonna have to get over not owning an island before you have pubic hair.

      Dumbasses? These guys need a planet named after them. Planet Dumbass.

  8. Jamin says:

    You nailed that one on the head! And the funny part isn’t even that the meaning of the words change, but HOW they change. Your graphic is perfect because the disposable income pre-children is what actually BECOMES the disposable diapers after you have kids. And you’re absolutely rightβ€”being a dad is so totally worth the paradigm (& money) shift! Thanks for sharing!

  9. Katie says:

    This is why you should cloth diaper! You’re making an investment that you can later sell, rather than throw it away in less than even an hour sometimes. Just a thought… πŸ™‚ Cloth diapering was the best thing we’ve ever done!

  10. Jessie H says:

    I’m another HUGE fan of cloth diapers! Not saying people who don’t cloth diaper should be shamed or anything, it’s just a great way to save money, keep a ton of crap (literally) out of landfills, it’s better for the kids in general, and they’re just so cute! πŸ˜‰

  11. jeni says:

    <3 your site! <3 your posts πŸ™‚ & as such, feel its necessary 2share this trick w/u (bkz u seem 2have the hiccups a lot lately lol) fill glass with some water, cover glass w/paper towel, drink water through paper towel…. whhhhalllah! No.more.hiccups! (Trick my uncle taught me&it has *never* failed for me or anyone I know!) The best part!?!? You don't even have to finish the entire glass of water, just half or less & you should be good to go & btw, I have no idea *why* this works, but feel that when stuff works out in your favor…. don't ask questions LoL just go with it πŸ™‚ thanks again for keeping my husband & I laughing!

  12. Hey Andy, did anyone mention cloth diapering yet? I mean you could cloth diaper, and then there’s cloth diapers, and don’t forget about cloth diapers!!!! AREN’T YOU LISTENING ANDY!!!! CLOTH DIAPERS!!!! πŸ˜‰

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