How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

My Wife Just Said… #26

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“WHERE IS THE OFF BUTTON!?!” [Not referring to any actual off button] -Elizabeth



23 Responses to “My Wife Just Said… #26”

  1. Hahaha! My husband and I ask each other this question on a regular basis…kids need a volume knob and an off button – similar to the baby robot in the movie “Robots”!

  2. Our first didn’t come with one, but our 8 month old takes a pacifier (praise baby Jesus!), and that’s sort of the same… for now… until she’s 8 and needs head gear.

    • andy says:

      Ha ha ha ha! I want to try that. Just sticking a pacifier in the mouth of anything that OFFing. Coworkers, jerks in line, rude government employees, mimes, oh and my kids, too.

  3. Desiree says:

    And when they’re teenagers, you start looking for the “ON” button.

    • andy says:

      It’s a sad but true fact: they do have an ON button for getting going with something that needs get-going on, that’s the true part, the sad part is that you have to press it 259 times for it to register.

  4. Dork Dad says:

    Sometimes I point the remote at my kids and press the “off” button, or the “volume” button…

    …it never works.

    -Dork Dad

  5. dml says:

    @ Desiree: not to be a contrarian, but the last thing that teenagers need to be is turned on!

    • Desiree says:

      Hahaha! OK, I get your point. But I meant “get up off the couch and stop texting! We have THINGS to do!”

    • andy says:

      They need both buttons! But with labels qualifying WHAT they turn ON and what they turn OFF. And some big ass caution signs around each. And some red flashing lights. And one of those plastic covers that a nuclear missile launch button has.

  6. Ashley says:

    I feel you Elizabeth! I often ask where is the mute button.

  7. Manda says:

    My cousin’s kid doesn’t have an off button, but he does have a “reset” one. It’s cute and I’m not sure where he learned it.

    You touch the back of his neck and he’ll curl up on the floor with his legs and arms folded underneath him. He’ll stay like that for a few moments and then hop up and run around again! LOL

  8. I think 3M makes one under the brand name Duct Tape.

  9. Shawn says:

    How about #27 “Hun, where’s the button to turn YOU on?”…Which comes right before # 28 “I hope you have a good memory.”

    • andy says:

      Wait, I’m confused. This category is “My wife just said” so it’s all the stuff she said. Are you suggesting that my wife would ever ask ME where the button to “turn me on” is??? Her question would more likely be “which button doesn’t turn you on, you nasty goat man?” Ha ha!

  10. MotherDuck says:

    I have been guilty of turning down the volume knob in my car when my kids get loud. My husband points and laughs.

  11. Usually it is hidden – if I find one over here I can let you know!


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