6 Secret Uses for Baby Diapers
A man’s task, when he becomes a dad, is one of transformation into a metaphorical swiss army knife of fathering skills. Sometimes, we have to go off the “beaten path” to find our own creative solutions. But necessity is the mother of radness and we here at HowToBeADad.com have never shied away from the ridiculous in search of the truth-ish.
Let us demonstrate some of the unique and innovative alternatives to using diapers “the smelly, boring way”…
Note: HowToBeADad.com and it’s writers take no responsibility for any parent attempting to try, succeed with or otherwise execute these ridiculous uses for diapers. If you do use them in the way prescribed above, we will not only laugh at you but probably take you out for a drink so we can get to the bottom of why you’re so weird.
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79 Comments
79 Responses to “6 Secret Uses for Baby Diapers”
You left out the diaper grenade. Just keep a full, nasty one in your bag and pelt any erstwhile assailant with it in lieu of pepper spray.
Wait, I thought that was the stated purpose for diapers: Hipster Repellant.
Thats why they bodysearch babies before they are allowed on airplanes at airport security.
Makes sense: dirty bombs.
BAHAHAHAHA! Those are so beyond awesome, I can’t even put it into words!
I’ve totally done the diaper bookmark thing. I bring Kyle up to our room every night and change him, put on his pjs, and put him to bed in his cradle. I bring a new diaper up with me every night, but keep an extra one up there on my nightstand, and it has ended up a bookmark for me on many occasions, lol.
You’ve done the bookmark thing? That is INSANE!! I tried to use a diaper bookmark on my kindle, but that didn’t work out so well.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
In a pinch, they sure can dry you off after swimming.
We thought of beach towel but Andy has a strict “no nudity” clause in his contract.
That’s not a clause, it’s an international law. Me in a towel made of diapers = cruel and unusual punishment.
Pie is Brilllance, period.
Yeah, I was being a little redundant wasn’t I. I double heart pie.
Boxing gloves.
A man after my own heart… we brought that one up. But neither of us look enough like a pugilist to pull it off.
OMG! This is one of the best yet! Great morning laugh!!!
Thanks Brit. We worked really hard on this one. Actually, it’s opposites day.
HEY!!! I was up till 3am on this one!
I have spilled coffee on so many things… one of the worst was our TAN rug. Used a diaper to pick up most of it. Let it dry then use carpet cleaner on it. It’s as if it was never there.
Diapers: Absorbent of liquids and fail!
LOL, big big future as diapers models..
When I was young I own a book called “100 ways to use a dead cat” I remember some of the ideas, u can use them here..
But u know that the real bravery is not to use it in it’s new condition, but what you can do with it AFTER it’s original use..
Ok, that’s too yukky, take me back to the dead cat please.
The only use for a soiled diaper is as a stink bomb at a hiptery coffee shop.
don’t forget diapers can be used as packing material. They can protect your good china just as well as they protect little bottoms.
GENIUS! Screw those little annoying popcorn bits, get some Huggies or Pampers and call it a day!
Diaper sham-wow for big spills. Soaks up a shitload of stuff. No pun intended.
Did you ever see the Sham-Wow commercial about cleaning up hooker blood? Amazing. And puns can be intended on this site. We’re nerds that way. We’re not above that.
Diapers work great as cold compresses. Get them wet (with WATER, hahaha), close them as if you were sealing a dirty one, and stick them in the freezer. Voila! Instant ice pack. Well, not quite instant. After the freezing happens… But yeah, you get my drift. Since they’re intended to hold liquid in, they don’t leak melted ice all over you.
I want to see a professional athlete with a diaper compress. That would make my year.
Great idea, I really have to remember that one. Thanks!
Also, the diaper wallet is genius. What criminal would ever try to steal a diaper?! I think you could market that one.
Seriously, it looks soiled with the contents in it. I DARE YOU TO PICKPOCKET ME!
My thoughts exactly! Simple cost-benefit analysis screams DON’T TAKE IT!
I love it!! I might use the diaper cap when I’m out and forget my own hat or parasol.
And I need to send this to my cousin in England: now she can have another use for her son’s diapers in the cold weather.
You guys ROCK!
Ha ha! We’ll get some diapers with some flowers and girly stuff for you so you can look pretty.
Yes, it’s true. We rock. And sometimes roll.
This is too funny! Thanks for the laughs!
Thank YOU for the laughs! Nothing sadder than a joke followed by silence. Except maybe a crying clown. Who’s being audited by the IRS. With cancer. Holding a puppy that didn’t make it in the litter of rescues. Sorry… I’m gonna go cry in the corner now.
“You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who make people happy, but inside he’s real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.” – Jack Handey
Saddest story I’ve ever heard.
You’re welcome. And your’re welcome to come back and laugh again. And welcome to share it. And welcome to not do any of that. Thanks for coming out!
Take out the filler they use to absorb peeped. Pour in a vase and add water. Watch in amazement when it grows huge. Add flowers. Better than water.
That’s actually useful info. I’m not sure, but I’ll have to double check with Charlie to see if that’s allowed on HowToBeADad.com. Ha ha! Kidding of course. I’m pleased I now have a valid reason for cutting and gutting a diaper and soaking its contents. Ha ha ha ha!
Nope. Not allowed. If we became helpful, then our website name would make sense and we just can’t have that happen.
Use it as ipod pouch! no one dares to touch my ipod! haha!
If brilliance was a pie, I don’t think even I could finish the size of the slice you just served. Wow!
Ya – I couldn’t photograph how I used a diaper — let’s just say when a women’s water breaks and the stack of diapers for the new baby are right there… well that is how she can make it to the hospital…
I know TMI. But hey – parenting gets really gross the second that water breaks and it never gets better.
Ha ha! It’s like Malcom X said: by any means necessary. Also, I wouldn’t worry too much about the whole TMI factor on this site.
Ya – I figured I was pretty safe to talk about how to get to the hospital while gushing amniotic fluid.
I was going to say – use it as a breast pad in an emergency boob-leakage situation.
I’ve totally done the diaper hat thing! No one thought it was funny though…
It’s an acquired taste… one acquired by the insane.
If you use a toddler sized one, you can get a chef’s hat out of the deal. Just apply the tabs as you normally would for with the toddler inside, flip upside down, insert your head, and voila! Ready for Le Cordon Bleu. Or maybe just some microwaved Chicken cordon blue.
My mother kept my cloth diapers once I was potty trained and kept them to use as dust clothes – which when using Old English Polish the stain was the same as any other potty stains so it didn’t matter. One other use for cloth dieapers, On my wedding day My Father brought me a square from one of my old diapers/dust clothes as my “Something Old?” Now that I am in my 30s with a child in diapers of my own, I use(d) my son’s cloth diapers for spit ups/liquid spills, dusting, wash clothes, drying towels…
Pillow. They are so fluffy and soft, albeit a bit crinkly…but if you have a whole pack of them, they make a nice pillow in a pinch.
Or yoga blocks/wedges. Help a mommy get back to her pre-baby body.
While in the hospital, I had an awful labor headache and the nurse brought me a premie diaper that they had soaked in water and then froze. So, they make REALLY good ice packs. True story. No lie. Really happened. For reals.
I hate heat and live in L.A. So… I foresee some frozen diapers in my neck’s future!
Diapers are the best utility to increase the bust size by putting them in a shape you want and use it like a padded bra but still detachable one. Funny though impressive for those who are interested in bigger bust, believe me.
Really? Uhhh… they kinda seems like they’d make for a pretty lumpy impression on any woman’s bust.
Wow. Yeah, just wow. Bored this day a little? LOL! Too funny.
Why does everyone assume we don’t have jobs or lives? Can’t we just be the freaks that we are without people questioning our employment status or social skills? Ha ha! We’re just addicted to making people laugh. Or cry. Glad you liked.
[...] Something else! You’re done here, so somewhere else is probably looking might fine right now. [...]
How about an emergency catch all for bloody noses, or other flesh wounds, car sickness…?
The car sickness application both scares me and makes me laugh! The other are apparently perfectly useful applications. Who woulda thunk it?
[...] Diaper Cap howtobeadad.com [...]
I’m a voice-over guy in Chicago. Disposable diapers make EXCELLENT sound-dampening material if you’re on a budget, on the road, and/or just get a kick out of multitasking.
If I could figure out a way to forward a pic your way, you’d be able to see how well they work in confined spaces too.
Thanks for the infotainment, fellas1
This is what I love about our blog. We just post something funny and from an odd angle and the threads that result just make it even better. Post a pic if you can, we’d love it to appear here in its rightful home.
You are most welcome and thank YOU for commenting!
I used 1 to bandage a damaged knee after a kids wrecked his bike in front of my house & none of my bandages were big enough! It was clean, absorbent, didn’t bleed through & was flexible for the knee! the Paramedics were impressed!
That’s fantastic. I love crazy Macgyver stuff like that and I’ve made a mental note for any future, bloody emergency. It must have looked pretty amazing, too. You rock.
I think our little dude Simoni has been reading your blog… from a Tanzanian orphanage. Somehow. http://bit.ly/nJ9QVl Been rocking the diaper hat!
After doing a cannonball in a shallow lake with LOTS of gravel and I landed on my knees (or what USED to be my knees), after washing out 378 pebbles per knee, I had to kneel my chopped liver knees on diapers. They DO absorb all kinds of fluids, especially blood! Too bad we had to go home early; kid pooped and had no more diapers left! LOL!
Ooooooo! That sounds savage. Yikes! Go go gadget diapers! The running out of diaper part is hilarious! Ha ha ha ha!
Diapers make GREAT packing material when shipping hazardous liquids. The regulations state that containers must be packed in something capable of absorbing all of the liquid. Disposable diapers to the rescue! Unfortunately, they are of no use with the Mt. Everest of paperwork that accompanies such a shipment.
Ha ha ha ha! Amazing. It stands to reason they’d be good for that since they are often called on to CONTAIN hazardous liquids.
Also, thanks for making me glad that paperwork is not a part of diaper changes. That would just be insult to injury.
I really really really want this on a poster! I saw this thing on Pinterest.com and decided I HAD to check out howtobeadad.com …after I stopped laughing.
Ha ha! Thanks! We’re blushing over here! A poster, huh? Wow! That’s crazy flattering!
Uh… JEAH! for my game room which is a hodge-podge (is there correct spelling for that?) of car pictures, old awards, and whatever.
My boyfriend suggests Waxing the Car, cause they don’t scratch the paint at all and have excellent absorption.
It’s true! I’ve done it. The car will be smooth as a baby’s bottom.
Haha Adult nappies do the same thing. I use them to plug holes in the roof.