How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

6 Secret Uses for Baby Diapers

Posted by on July 29th, 2011, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

A man’s task, when he becomes a dad, is one of transformation into a metaphorical swiss army knife of fathering skills. Sometimes, we have to go off the “beaten path” to find our own creative solutions. But necessity is the mother of radness and we here at HowToBeADad.com have never shied away from the ridiculous in search of the truth-ish.

Let us demonstrate some of the unique and innovative alternatives to using diapers “the smelly, boring way”…

6 Secret Uses for Baby Diapers

Note: HowToBeADad.com and its writers take no responsibility for any parent attempting to try, succeed with or otherwise execute these ridiculous uses for diapers. If you do use them in the way prescribed above, we will not only laugh at you but probably take you out for a drink so we can get to the bottom of why you’re so weird.

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98 Comments

98 Responses to “6 Secret Uses for Baby Diapers”

  1. Tad says:

    You left out the diaper grenade. Just keep a full, nasty one in your bag and pelt any erstwhile assailant with it in lieu of pepper spray.

  2. Cheryl M. says:

    BAHAHAHAHA! Those are so beyond awesome, I can’t even put it into words!

    I’ve totally done the diaper bookmark thing. I bring Kyle up to our room every night and change him, put on his pjs, and put him to bed in his cradle. I bring a new diaper up with me every night, but keep an extra one up there on my nightstand, and it has ended up a bookmark for me on many occasions, lol.

  3. DC Urban Dad says:

    In a pinch, they sure can dry you off after swimming.

  4. Britters says:

    OMG! This is one of the best yet! Great morning laugh!!!

  5. Megan says:

    I have spilled coffee on so many things… one of the worst was our TAN rug. Used a diaper to pick up most of it. Let it dry then use carpet cleaner on it. It’s as if it was never there. :P

  6. Amit says:

    LOL, big big future as diapers models..
    When I was young I own a book called “100 ways to use a dead cat” I remember some of the ideas, u can use them here..
    But u know that the real bravery is not to use it in it’s new condition, but what you can do with it AFTER it’s original use..
    Ok, that’s too yukky, take me back to the dead cat please.

  7. rick says:

    don’t forget diapers can be used as packing material. They can protect your good china just as well as they protect little bottoms.

  8. Diaper sham-wow for big spills. Soaks up a shitload of stuff. No pun intended.

    • charlie says:

      Did you ever see the Sham-Wow commercial about cleaning up hooker blood? Amazing. And puns can be intended on this site. We’re nerds that way. We’re not above that.

  9. Kimberly says:

    Diapers work great as cold compresses. Get them wet (with WATER, hahaha), close them as if you were sealing a dirty one, and stick them in the freezer. Voila! Instant ice pack. Well, not quite instant. After the freezing happens… But yeah, you get my drift. Since they’re intended to hold liquid in, they don’t leak melted ice all over you.

  10. Kimberly says:

    Also, the diaper wallet is genius. What criminal would ever try to steal a diaper?! I think you could market that one. ;)

  11. Lizzie says:

    I love it!! I might use the diaper cap when I’m out and forget my own hat or parasol.
    And I need to send this to my cousin in England: now she can have another use for her son’s diapers in the cold weather.

    You guys ROCK!

  12. This is too funny! Thanks for the laughs!

    • andy says:

      Thank YOU for the laughs! Nothing sadder than a joke followed by silence. Except maybe a crying clown. Who’s being audited by the IRS. With cancer. Holding a puppy that didn’t make it in the litter of rescues. Sorry… I’m gonna go cry in the corner now.

    • charlie says:

      You’re welcome. And your’re welcome to come back and laugh again. And welcome to share it. And welcome to not do any of that. Thanks for coming out!

  13. Ruth says:

    Take out the filler they use to absorb peeped. Pour in a vase and add water. Watch in amazement when it grows huge. Add flowers. Better than water.

    • andy says:

      That’s actually useful info. I’m not sure, but I’ll have to double check with Charlie to see if that’s allowed on HowToBeADad.com. Ha ha! Kidding of course. I’m pleased I now have a valid reason for cutting and gutting a diaper and soaking its contents. Ha ha ha ha!

  14. ting says:

    Use it as ipod pouch! no one dares to touch my ipod! haha!

  15. Ya – I couldn’t photograph how I used a diaper — let’s just say when a women’s water breaks and the stack of diapers for the new baby are right there… well that is how she can make it to the hospital…
    I know TMI. But hey – parenting gets really gross the second that water breaks and it never gets better.

  16. Mom_Mission says:

    I’ve totally done the diaper hat thing! No one thought it was funny though…

    • charlie says:

      It’s an acquired taste… one acquired by the insane.

      • Desiree says:

        If you use a toddler sized one, you can get a chef’s hat out of the deal. Just apply the tabs as you normally would for with the toddler inside, flip upside down, insert your head, and voila! Ready for Le Cordon Bleu. Or maybe just some microwaved Chicken cordon blue.

  17. Beth says:

    My mother kept my cloth diapers once I was potty trained and kept them to use as dust clothes – which when using Old English Polish the stain was the same as any other potty stains so it didn’t matter. One other use for cloth dieapers, On my wedding day My Father brought me a square from one of my old diapers/dust clothes as my “Something Old?” Now that I am in my 30s with a child in diapers of my own, I use(d) my son’s cloth diapers for spit ups/liquid spills, dusting, wash clothes, drying towels…

  18. SuzRocks says:

    Pillow. They are so fluffy and soft, albeit a bit crinkly…but if you have a whole pack of them, they make a nice pillow in a pinch.

  19. While in the hospital, I had an awful labor headache and the nurse brought me a premie diaper that they had soaked in water and then froze. So, they make REALLY good ice packs. True story. No lie. Really happened. For reals. :)

  20. Aetiyuel says:

    Diapers are the best utility to increase the bust size by putting them in a shape you want and use it like a padded bra but still detachable one. Funny though impressive for those who are interested in bigger bust, believe me.

  21. Brandon says:

    Wow. Yeah, just wow. Bored this day a little? LOL! Too funny.

    • andy says:

      Why does everyone assume we don’t have jobs or lives? Can’t we just be the freaks that we are without people questioning our employment status or social skills? Ha ha! We’re just addicted to making people laugh. Or cry. Glad you liked.

  22. [...] Something else! You’re done here, so somewhere else is probably looking might fine right now. [...]

  23. Shawn Allen says:

    How about an emergency catch all for bloody noses, or other flesh wounds, car sickness…?

  24. I’m a voice-over guy in Chicago. Disposable diapers make EXCELLENT sound-dampening material if you’re on a budget, on the road, and/or just get a kick out of multitasking.

    If I could figure out a way to forward a pic your way, you’d be able to see how well they work in confined spaces too.

    Thanks for the infotainment, fellas1

    • andy says:

      This is what I love about our blog. We just post something funny and from an odd angle and the threads that result just make it even better. Post a pic if you can, we’d love it to appear here in its rightful home.

      You are most welcome and thank YOU for commenting!

  25. Beverly Avey says:

    I used 1 to bandage a damaged knee after a kids wrecked his bike in front of my house & none of my bandages were big enough! It was clean, absorbent, didn’t bleed through & was flexible for the knee! the Paramedics were impressed!

    • andy says:

      That’s fantastic. I love crazy Macgyver stuff like that and I’ve made a mental note for any future, bloody emergency. It must have looked pretty amazing, too. You rock.

      • HazelBroadway says:

        I used one of my nephew’s diapers for another bloody emergency once. Got my period while hiking deep in the woods!!! Saved my pants and my dignity (sort of).

      • We were camping and the guy next to us cut his leg with an axe while chopping his wood (he totally missed the wood – it was crazy) and my mom used a feminine pad to help stop the bleeding – but a diaper would have probably been less embarassing

  26. I think our little dude Simoni has been reading your blog… from a Tanzanian orphanage. Somehow. http://bit.ly/nJ9QVl Been rocking the diaper hat!

  27. Rachelle says:

    After doing a cannonball in a shallow lake with LOTS of gravel and I landed on my knees (or what USED to be my knees), after washing out 378 pebbles per knee, I had to kneel my chopped liver knees on diapers. They DO absorb all kinds of fluids, especially blood! Too bad we had to go home early; kid pooped and had no more diapers left! LOL!

  28. Monique in TX says:

    Diapers make GREAT packing material when shipping hazardous liquids. The regulations state that containers must be packed in something capable of absorbing all of the liquid. Disposable diapers to the rescue! Unfortunately, they are of no use with the Mt. Everest of paperwork that accompanies such a shipment.

    • andy says:

      Ha ha ha ha! Amazing. It stands to reason they’d be good for that since they are often called on to CONTAIN hazardous liquids. ;)

      Also, thanks for making me glad that paperwork is not a part of diaper changes. That would just be insult to injury.

  29. Brittani says:

    I really really really want this on a poster! I saw this thing on Pinterest.com and decided I HAD to check out howtobeadad.com …after I stopped laughing.

  30. Rhari says:

    My boyfriend suggests Waxing the Car, cause they don’t scratch the paint at all and have excellent absorption.

  31. Glen Warren says:

    Haha Adult nappies do the same thing. I use them to plug holes in the roof.

    • Catherine says:

      Now THAT is awesome thinking! I would love to see the repair guy’s face when he saw what you used in a fix!

  32. Chan says:

    ummmm…. i love a good diaper bonnet! size 5 in the “Jeans” style huggies is just exquisite!

  33. shruti says:

    This is hilarious…what about hot pot coasters ?? Have you tried that?

    Shruti-k.blogspot.com

  34. Jill says:

    I recently used a diaper to dry off some bleachers for my entire extended family. I tried offering it to strangers but they weren’t any takers. It looked kind of muddy.

  35. Christina says:

    My dad liked to use them to wax his car.

  36. Terry says:

    When travelling we use spare clean diapers to wrap fragile items like coffee mugs so they don’t get wrecked.

  37. Jason says:

    in “HowToBeADad.com and it’s writers take no responsibility”, it’s should be its.

  38. Barbara says:

    Nicely done! Love your ideas on diapers. Put fun on a whole new level for diapers!

  39. Danielle says:

    I use them as a rag to sop up spills. Works waaaaaay better than some dinky paper towel.

  40. Mina says:

    Interesting. I needed a pin cushion in a jiffy. Rolled one up held it together with the tabs and voila!

  41. Melanie says:

    All the books on emergency horse care recommend a disposable diaper or two be kept in the first aid box – they are perfect for wrapping an injured hoof after cleaning it (padded, tabs allow it to be fitted well, absorbs any excess liquid medication applied or pus which might ooze out) after which it gets a few wraps of duct tape to keep it durable and on the foot.

    So I guess this one is already not-so-secret accepted common usage in horse first aid
    http://www.kentuckyhorse.org/en/art/1775/
    http://www.gvequine.com/Pages/ht_SOAK_AND_WRAP_A_HOOF.php

  42. Sara says:

    Ice pack – Cut a slit inside the back of the diaper. Carefully pry open the layers and drop in crushed ice. This works beautifully as an ice-pack because it absorbs the liquid as the ice melts, no drips or leaks like from a bag. :)

  43. Christine Taylor says:

    Also, Of U, Too, Have 4 Kids, A Tightly Wrapped Soiled Diaper Will Knock A Toddler Down If U R Unable To Get Up Due To Another Kid. It Also Keeps Doors From Closing When Hung Over The Top Of The Door. Kids Look Like George Washington When Placed Flaps To Ears. And Finally, A Clean One Makes An Excellent Fan.

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