Weirdest Birth Announcement Ever…
My brother and I were rummaging through one of the 20 boxes of photos he’s been laboring over, scanning them to digital files when we came across this…
Anyone notice my 36 HOUR LABOR with forceps & a prayer? Nowadays, they’d have just cut me out.
How about that first paragraph? Coming out of the crazy 1970′s didn’t seem to slow anybody down. Is anyone having a flashback right now just thinking about it? Learn more about my radio DJ father here: Bay Area Radio Museum
40 Comments
40 Responses to “Weirdest Birth Announcement Ever…”
Thanks for the laughs! This is awesome.
Thanks Dave! I was surprised to find it. The first thing I said to my brother when we found it: “This HAS to go on How To Be A Dad. It’s like it was written for us.”
I’m definitely going to pull a stunt like that for my next one!
It’s kind of inspired, isn’t it? Or maybe have a really nice picture of you and your wife, then be holding a honey badger or a chinchilla. I think #2 would appreciate it.
Well that’s because it WAS written for you!
I felt like there should be a “This isn’t photoshopped, honestly!” disclaimer in the article. Or maybe the lack of one is better?
As long as they spell your name right.. (oh, more important: and as long as they got the color of your eyes right..)
Yeah, that would’ve been uncomfortable if Charles Chapern had brown eyes. But honestly, people mess up my name all the time. I’m used to it. Versions of my name that I’ve heard so far:
-Charlie Chapen
-Cherry Kappen
-Charley Caper
-Chairey Capin
-Gnarly Shaping
Ok, that last one is not true.
Ha ha ha ha! I’m going to call you Cherry from now on! Ha ha ha ha! Or Gnarly, because that’s just rad.
Could be worse.
So it’s Charley Chaplin – right?
That’s the other one.
Also, name people are NOT allowed to call me:
-Raul
-Chuck
-Chaz or Chazbo
All three are reserved for very specific people in my life.
I used one of my nicknames as my main social network name (amitos), now ppl that don’t know me are calling me in this super personal name.. it’s a risk you need to take
Yeah, when people start calling me MONKEYPANTSDOODLEFACE, I know I’m in trouble.
Charlie Norris
Wow, that’s pretty epic. To my knowledge, I have never been in danger of exploding, but that’s probably just because my mom kept a close eye on my dad.
See, while it is entertaining, How To Be A Dad actually provides a public service and warns parents of the dangers of overfilling their inflatable babies.
Right. Anything above 44 PSI and the baby’s a ticking time-bomb.
This one might be a bit more:
Okay, it wouldn’t occur to me to call you Chazbo, but now that you’ve brought it up, I don’t think I can resist.
Chazbo.
Chazbo.
Chazbo.
Kinda rolls of the tongue, doesn’t it? It’s almost Shakespearean in nature. I think a film needs to be written with the main character named Chazbo.
Travis
If it’s going to be Shakespearean, I think “Chazbeaux” is probably the correct spelling..
MILF sighting.
You’ve hit a sore subject for me. There will be none of that. You shut your mouth.
So funny! But don’t assume they’d cut you out nowadays. My first labor was longer than that BEFORE they induced me, and I labored for 15 more hours after I got the Pitocin… But I pushed for less than 3 minutes. Trade-offs, I suppose.
And that is a really cute article! I wish more newspapers still did this. Heck, I wish more people still utilized newspapers.
Maybe it’s just here Los Angeles. I feel like doctors down here have crazy schedules and firm desires to get home before dinner, and won’t wait.
Our doctor was so awesome. So patient.
But I’ve just heard horror stories of medical staff pressuring women to get c-sec’s to save time…
I wish they would too. Pretty fun stuff.
That is bad, but I leave that stuff to the wife. Except when it comes down to price! She has a back for spending ridiculous amounts of cash on those things and then people throw them out!
I completely agree with you. Wait, I have no idea what you meant. ::falls asleep standing up::
Pre-social media, people had to be imaginative and this takes the cake.
This is prehistoric viral content. YOU’RE RIGHT!
I’m still trying to figure out how they’re sitting in the photo…is that the dad’s leg under the mom’s arm? Is that her leg under his leg (and jutting out from her chest)? Am I the only one confused by this?
My dad’s leg is out and my mom’s hand on his leg.
What’s under his leg?
(I think I need more caffeine!)
ps — love the blog!
Howie Bedad. That’s how I think of y’all.
I just want to throw this out there. Whether or not you guys officially subscribe to natural/attachment parenting, I love how you casually support it all the time. All of your graphics about cosleeping with a baby. Sporting the moby wrap the other day. The little quip about how 36 hour labors and how you would have been a c-section baby today. The list goes on. A lot of the attachment parenting blogs out there are kind of militant about it to the point that it puts off mainstream parents. You guys just throw it out there in a “meh, this is how we roll” kind of way. LOVE IT.
36 hours…whoa, that’s serious stuff.
This is super cute BTW, thanks for sharing!
ahahaha flipping hilarious!! that first paragraph is so outrageous it seems fake. this made my day
and for the 36 hour labor, you just couldn’t decide when you wanted your bday to be
I keep looking at it and finding more to giggle about
Well, at least they named you Charles. With parents like yours (or mine for that matter) you could have been named Starhawk. I felt pretty lucky to get away with “Ambershawn.”
Very funny. Sort of freaked me out when I saw that you’re only a year older than my oldest son!! Sometimes I forget how old I am. That’s a good thing.
Um…no. Probably not on the cutting-out thing. When my sister had her first four years ago, she was in labor for 36 hours. If there’s no baby distress, they still let mama soldier on.
My poor nephew.
In another ten years, he’s going to be hearing a lot of “I went through the valley of the shadow of death—for THIRTY-SIX FREAKING HOURS—just to give you birth!”
His little brother didn’t put their mother through near as much labor, so he’s probably going to giggle every time my sister shouts that.
But then again, I don’t know nothin’ ’bout birthin’ no babies. My kids were independently mobile when I got them.