How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Can Your Sperm Tell You Something?

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Can Your Sperm Tell You Gender?

My wife and I thought we were going to have a girl for years. We had consistent, realistic dreams of this little lass with big blue eyes who introduced herself to us by name, sweetly.

What’s more interesting? She appeared in my mother’s dreams and my wife’s mother’s dreams, and, truth be told, I’m kind of a sensitive guy (i.e. mama’s boy), so I thought my sperm were probably encoded with a semi-feminine predisposition.

But the night before we went to the doctor around Week 16, my wife dreamed of a little boy who looked remarkably like me, smiling at her. She woke up that morning and leaned over to me, “I think our son just prepared us to see a penis on the ultrasound…”

Around 22 weeks later, we had a son. Finn.

There's no resemblance to Finn being my son...

You’re right. Finn and I look nothing alike. At all.

And so began my mission of hammering nails, watching football and bicep-curling inanimate objects. What’s that, ma’am… You need your oil changed? I know the closest Lube Station. Wait, the garbage disposal is clogged? I can handle it. Determined to man up, I went to every website about menstuff… Art of ManlinessUncrate, etc. trying to bone up on being a man.

Finally, I realized my sperm do not reflect my masculinity or lack thereof. My sperm are unique little gene snowflakes with biological tasks to fulfill. They’re roadmaps, not destinations.

But you better watch out, small children at the playground. I’m still on a rampage and you’re about to be bicep-curled.

22 Comments

22 Responses to “Can Your Sperm Tell You Something?”

  1. Travis says:

    Okay, now that I know of the existence of the heretofore hidden from me guidebook to manliness, I can finally join the ranks of the manly and butch. My mother was getting worried.

    Thank you for this public service!!!

    • charlie says:

      I know, Travis, you were looking for me to give the definitive guide of being a man. Lol! Check out those links though. Pretty cool stuff.

  2. Tad says:

    Curiously, I had the opposite experience with our first. I was fully prepared for a boy, ready to teach him all about soccer and how to properly crash a mountain bike and such, and then found out it was a girl.

    Still planning on the above, but I’ll likely have to learn to braid hair too.

    • charlie says:

      It’s such a shift in thought process. I was ready to be this protective father over his daughter and teach her to respect herself. Now, I’m letting my son climb things and skin his knees and flip him upside down, because that’s how he rolls: like Evil Knievel.

    • I love the part about braiding hair!Myself I didn’t really care which it was but now that I have a daughter I am most definitely glad that I had a girl.
      I think it some ways it mkes you even more of a man because now you have to focus more on things that you might not have otherwise.I think it has made me not only a better person finally but a better dad.Saying alot of prayers and keeping her in tune to the spiritual side of things is always a plus too.

  3. Brittertwits says:

    This is a great blog! I love it. I am not a man and I am lady making a comment but I love learning the men’s perspective.

    My husband will love this too!

    Keep it up.

  4. I cannot WAIT to read more of this. I mean, you just know so much about this. So much of it Ive never even thought of. You sure did put a new twist on something that Ive heard so much about. I dont believe Ive actually read anything that does this subject as good justice as you just did.

  5. Christine says:

    This is something I will show my boys (who are now young adults) I think it will give them a little boost in knowing there are other ways to look a a subject such as this. Thanks Charlie

  6. Debra says:

    At first my husband did not want daughters…now that one of two daughters is in a serious relationship,he thinks her guy is not man enough for her…

  7. Evonne says:

    We had very similar experience with number 2. We already had a boy (hubby has another son to previous partner as well) so really couldn’t imagine that this little life growing in me (at the time) could possibly not be a girl…was a bit ‘scared’ of finding out but knew I just had to. The night before the scan I too dreamed we had another boy (how cool is that?).. So was at peace with it all when the sonographer (hope i’ve got the right word there?) announced it was a ‘D’ for doodle!! (he was this cute little Irish man)…as much as I would have loved a daughter there’s no way I’d swap the cutest little cheeky man we got instead :o)

  8. Sara says:

    We waited to find out. I really wanted a boy, but I dreamt throughout my pregnancy that it was going to be a girl. I think my mind was trying to prepare me for the possibility. EVERYONE insisted I “carried” like “it” was a girl, too. So I was totally ready to deliver a girl. We even had full girl’s name picked out and only a first name for a boy. So when the doctor pulled him out and said, “It’s a boy!” the words that popped out of my mouth were, “Are you SURE?!?” Got a good chuckle on that one. Wouldn’t trade my little guy for anything!

  9. Nat says:

    My husband has found out that he is a better father to our two princesses, then our one prince. And he is a pretty manly man, what with chopping down trees and playing rugby for fun. But the old adage is true: When you have a boy, you worry about one penis. When you have a girl, you worry about them all.

  10. Soldi says:

    Both of my kids eventually introduced themselves to me, and they were right both times. :)

    If you need to bone up (heh) on manliness, check out the book on boyness-

    The Dangerous Book for Boys. :)

    There’s also one for girls-

    The Daring Book for Girls. :)

    They’re both fantastic!!

  11. We picked out a name for our boy a whole five years before he made an appearance. We picked out that name after having known each other for three years, but only having dated for nine months. We got married in ’06 and in fall of ’08 we found out we were pregnant. I had dreams that this baby was a boy. I KNEW he was a boy even though we decided to not find out at the ultrasound. Now I am 18 weeks pregnant with out second child, I have a “feeling” about what we are having but it isn’t as strong as my gut instincts about Porter. No dreams. No nothin’. We have our second trimester ultrasound tomorrow and we hope the wee one is cooperating so we can find out if it is a boy or a girl. I am anxious to find out if my “feeling” is correct!

  12. Heather says:

    My husband and I dreamed of a little red haired girl with curly pigtails who beat up boys while wearing coveralls. Then our daughter was born: a blue eyed blondie who only wears dresses and hates getting dirty. NOT what were expecting. The exact opposite in fact. Little did we know, four years later, we’d meet that little red head, too :)

  13. Ali says:

    I always had dreams that I’d have all boys- says the mom of two girls. I was POSITIVE that our first was a boy, I was in complete shock at the ultrasound. I was also sure the second time that it was a boy. My
    Mom and sister in law even had dreams that we had the baby, and it was a boy. I don’t know, but our two are definitely NOT boys. So much for my intuition.

  14. Jeremy says:

    I swore we were going to have a girl and was preparing myself for figuring out how to raise her. When the ultra sound tech showed us a penis instead I was shocked and all my wife could do was laugh at my surprise. She actually made fun of me while the ultra sound continued. This was a few weeks ago and I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact we’re having a boy.

  15. Judy says:

    With each of my children I *just* knew what they were going to be. My three boys I had a feeling they were boys, and sure enough, they are very boy. We just had our daughter and it was during this week last year that I woke up, looked at my husband, and told him straight out that I was pregnant and it was a girl. I hadn’t even taken the pregnancy test yet and I was about 5 weeks along. Now she’s four months old and my three boys and husband are so protective of her and they can’t wait until she “does stuff.” O, little boy talk.

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