It’s 3am and I hate to break it to you, Finn, but amid all your screaming and crying the only thing I can think right now:
“Guess what Mr. Downstairs Neighbor? (who has a thing for playing “Sex on Fire” over and over at 2am to wake up my child) Suck it.”
That’s right, Finn! You are hopefully interrupting Rico Suave downstairs by enacting
the exact opposite of what is taking place one floor below. While his model-actress-giraffe conquest/date moans away, you’re giving him the immortal crowd-pleaser: THE BABY CRY.
And you know what? I hope it makes him stop and think for a half-second while he weakly attempts copulation with Bambi or Candi or whatever – about the end game.
So go on, Mr. Finn, and belt that tenor voice you’re wailing. Let Rico Suave hear what he has in store if just one of the millions of sperm he’s launching makes its target: diapers filled with pee and a hungry, hungry hippo named baby.