How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

“How Not To” Instructional Diagram: Baby Carriers


Baby Carrier How Not To Instructional Diagram


It has been said that “for every way to do something right, there are a thousand ways do it wrong.” Instruction manuals tend to concentrate on how-to’s, but trust us, the ways you can do or use something incorrectly is far more interesting. Whether it’s helpful is really secondary at How To Be A Dad. Maybe even more like seventhary or ninthary, but who’s counting, right!

Here we have a look at a basic tip for the proper use of baby carriers. They really are for use with infants only. As comfy as that baby may have looked to you, passed out in that little munchkin satchel at the mall, it is not worth trying to “give it spin” if you’re a full-grown adult. Aside from the hydrogen-bomb wedgie and loss of any circulation to your lower body, you’ll probably collapse the spine of the buddy you convinced to be the carrier, and that’s only if both of you actually successfully rig up the harness without hospitalization.


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Instructional Diagrams
You’ll probably be blown away.


25 Responses to ““How Not To” Instructional Diagram: Baby Carriers”

  1. LOL too funny. I do hope this was not based on personal experience……….

    • andy says:

      That’s funny, because we wish it WAS based on personal experience. Charlie’s a strapping, young buck, which is good because I am a little soft and 6′ 1″.

      I promise that if we do try such a thing that we’ll video it and publish it so you can see for yourself. πŸ˜‰

  2. therookiedad says:

    Damn so you mean my wife can’t carry me around in a carrier?

  3. Julio Ibanez says:

    Ohhhh, THAT’S what I’m doing wrong.

  4. MotherDuck says:

    Hydrogen Bomb Wedgie is the name of my new band.

  5. Love it. Guess it rules out teens who still act like babies!

    • andy says:

      Ha ha! It does rule out teens as well. Though we should have been more specific, since we here at like to consider “baby” to be an age-non-specific term. It’s really a state of mind rather than a specific age range. πŸ˜‰

  6. Melissa says:

    There’s not enough back support for the adult who is being carried around to rest comfortably. This should also not be attempted with a Moby wrap.

  7. Chris says:

    Oh my goodness. I’ll just say that the Instructional Diagrams are still my favorite part of this site. From the thumbnail pic, I expected to see someone sitting on a baby, so I had to ell oh ell when I clicked on the link for a better look. I was grumpy. Thanks for that.

  8. faunce says:

    at first i was like “yay a new post” but then i saw the date and silently cried inside.

  9. UaMV says:

    Now that you have the video category, do we get to see a video demonstration of this one? Simply to reinforce the reason this should not be done, of course.

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