How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Pregnancy Weight is UGLY

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Charlie & Avara Her Eggo Is Preggo

I know, I know. I’m not going to be popular when I say this, but a hefty load of pregnancy weight isn’t attractive. I’m sorry. It isn’t. The cheeks swell, shoelace indentations appear across your feet and you end up looking like 10 pounds of fat stuffed in a five-pound bag.

But you have to believe me, I’m trying to lose the weight. I just have a lot going on right now.

There’s something captivating and otherworldly about pregnant women to me. Preggo women look like glowing, ripe fruit. They have something beaming and hiccupping inside them! But me, I just look like an overgrown, post-pubescent nerd/hobo compared to the immaculately-conceived sitting next to me.

And I love the term “sympathy weight” (of which I gained 35 sympathizing pounds).

This is how conversations went when people met my wife while she was with child, “Oh, wow – how many months are you? You look so beautiful. (LONG PAUSE) Uhhhhh…” And that last syllable was the sound they made when I walked up as if to imply “I think you have a large, color-blind hippo behind to you.”

But the story has a good ending though. I quit eating sugar on January 1st of last year and lost a bunch of the weight. But the hunger… It remains…

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41 Comments

41 Responses to “Pregnancy Weight is UGLY”

  1. momvswild says:

    Thank you for your site, It’s very entertaining and heartwarming at the same time. You ARE a great dad. Daddies need to act more like daddies as you do

    • charlie says:

      You’re the first commenter, MomVSWild! Thanks so much for coming to us and writing what I consider the highest compliment I could receive. Check out the rest of the site and have at it!

      PS: There are definitely moments I feel like a sub-standard dad. I’ll have to come back and read your comment on those days.

    • andy says:

      Ha ha! Thanks, MvW. 😉 In the tradition of a business framing its first dollar, maybe we should print this one out and tape it to a wall, eh, Charlie?

  2. Love it, very funny, Charlie!
    I was about to kick your butt for talking about your glowing, goddess-like muse of a wife like this, but I’m so glad I don’t have to. 🙂
    Kat

    • charlie says:

      Gotcha there, didn’t I Kat? Feel free to come find me and kick my butt. Might be the workout I need to lose those last five pounds… But not if I lose, like I know I will…

  3. Dawn says:

    Believe me, pregnant women don’t feel glowing all the time. I feel like my face has gained ten pounds. 🙂

    • charlie says:

      Dawn, please don’t do what my wife did and start disallowing all photographic and cinematic evidence of your pregnant self. You may feel bigger or plumper, but I assure you it’s not only attractive but so magnetic. We regret not taking more photos and videos of her. My son was a huge newborn. She had a big belly. It was fascinating and alluring all in one!

  4. Desiree says:

    I gained 70 pounds when I was pregnant with my twins. My husband gained 80 in sympathy weight. He was baffled. I lost the baby weight eventually. As to whether he did, uhm… well, he’s trying. And it’s only been a decade or so…

    • charlie says:

      It takes baby steps. Men don’t get the immediate 10-20 lb drop in a single day that women lose after nine (read “10”) months though. At most, it’s a one pounder if they stay “regular” and have a penchant for prunes.

  5. Infertility says:

    Not too long ago I came across this blog and have enjoyed the content. I look forward to long term content and can certainly link to this and inform the people. Thank you.

  6. Hello, I think your blog might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your blog in Chrome, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, excellent blog!

    • andy says:

      Thanks!

      O’ Internet Exploder!
      How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
      I love thee to the depth and breadth of the shallow grave
      My geeky arms can dig, within the loose soil in a hidden cave.
      I love thee with a hatchet, after I’ve loved thee with a bat,
      I love thee with each fevered swing and every viscous splat…

      Okay I’m done.

  7. Wow that was odd. I just wrote an extremely long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyway, just wanted to say fantastic blog!

  8. My clothing tips for very thin women – Huge and large accessories could be worn, also boots than strappy sandals are good options to consider.

  9. Rolanda says:

    If the blog posts you submit to Digg and other social sites don’t get any votes, you’re still getting the benefit of building one-way backlinks to your blog, so it’s well worth the time in making a point to submit your blog posts to social marketing sites.

  10. DadStreet says:

    First of all I should welcome you to the Community of Dads and really Parents in general. Maybe you don’t need a welcoming for becoming said parent as I see this has happened a while back. Perhaps I could just invite you to the online world.

    What did I just say? I’m not sure but I was going somewhere…

    Oh right, so I had totally forgotten I was still carrying this pregnancy weight around until you brought it up. Well that’s not completely true, I was reminded this morning when I looked down and couldn’t see my shoes…Yes, they were on my feet. Point being is that women are so amazing how they can expand and contract and contract and expand, bust out an 8 pound melon…er…baby and be back to beautiful in a matter of months. Us? Well, let’s put it this way…I don’t even shower with myself anymore.

  11. Ed Smith says:

    As a 40 yr.old dad to a 17, 5, and 2 yr.old, I was going to put my arm around your shoulder after reading the title and ask you a question that I seem to constantly ask my teen; what were you thinking about son? But after reading through the blog let me say this- enjoy your youthful metabolism. There will come a day when you grill for a family of 5 (3 of whom will eat a bite or two), and it will fall to you and your son to finish for everyone! You’ll gain the weight for you and your son as a kind of ongoing cosmic joke, but you’ll find comfort in your favorite recliner!
    Enjoying the site! Keep it up!

  12. […] IT OUT So, as I stated in “Pregnancy Weight Is Ugly”, I worked my ass off again, but literally. I quit sugar, I dieted, I worked out again. I tried to […]

  13. Tim says:

    Hey Guys! Just want to say I love your site. I’m going to be a first time dad in Aug and I’ve been scouring the web looking for the best Dad blogs, Dad advice, Dad reviews, etc. and I’ve landed at the Mecca.

    So now I know what this extra 10 lbs I’ve gained during the pregnancy is!!! So do all men get this, or just those who like sugar?? My wife is 7 months and I’m cruising right along with her.

    I’ve become an aspiring photographer (well for my little girl anyways) and my wife will not let me take ANY preggo pics of her, because of she is hating the way she looks. @Charlie I love that glow you speak of, but I just can’t capture it in anyway without a snide look and a “you better delete that!”

    Anyways… Just this weekend I’ve started my own blog to chronicle my journey to and through Fatherhood and I would appreciate a glance from the both of you!

    I’ll for sure keep coming back…

    • charlie says:

      Wow, thanks Tim! Glad you liked it. Because of your VERY nice comments we’ll be continuing the blog this week. We’re like Oasis. You’re never certain if we’re breaking up.

      Let me address your concerns, though:
      1. Many men gain weight during pregnancy. They call it “Sympathy Weight”, I call it — HOLYSH*TIMHAVINGABABY weight.
      2. Here’s the defense to the “no photos, please”, answer from your wife. “You can always delete them, but you can never re-create them.” My wife said the same thing and she is now BUMMED OUT by not having done any photos. Regardless of weight gain, or any other reason, it’s just a moment in time. Same went for birth photos, although I won on that account. You can always delete them.

      Best of luck to you in your endeavor. We’ll definitely check out your blog.

      • Tim says:

        Thanks guys! I’m actually showing your blog some love on my newest post soon too. (Commenting on the Zombie vs. Baby post) Oh and thanks for the Twitter love today! I went from a whopping 3 followers to 25 just today because of you.

        I’ve got to speak soon about how “Daddy is Pregnant too”, since I’ve pretty much adopted many of the preggo symptoms. Was this the case for either of you?

  14. BlendingTime says:

    Wow thats a brave statement. My wife looked amazing all throughout her pregnancy….ok she has stopped looking over my should now. She gained weight because she found comfort in food. It wasn’t the best look for her and she did do the mistake of avoiding all photos and making me delete any of her. We have a massive gap now of both her pregnancys where she appears to have vanished for 7 months at a time and then just appears with a baby at the end. I added the sympathy baby weight after both kids as well because there was never anytime to go cycling or swimming anymore.

  15. Jason White says:

    Okay so my baby is only 4 months old and Mom is back to pre-preg weight(or super close at least). Me, I still get asked when my baby is due. I have always been a big guy so the weight gain wasn’t as obvious, but it’s still tough. I want to eat all of the time now. I’m just glad that there are plenty of other dads out there that have experienced the same thing. Great site! keep it up!

  16. Marilynn says:

    Lol – brilliant!

    I felt like a whale & looked like a whale. It always amazes me when people put pregnancy in such glowing terms – and yet when you SEE pregnant women they are simply beautiful 🙂

    Thanks for sharing X

  17. Wow haha you’re blog is always an interesting read! I love your insights and findings!

  18. Valerie says:

    About pregnant women and cameras…I have to agree with Charlie! Women shouldn’t shy away from cameras while pregnant. My ex and I took more video than pictures, and now the videos are long gone. So I’m left with 3 whole pictures of my pregnant self.
    Dads-to-be, ask your wives to get dolled up occasionally and take her out to dinner, then get a few shots that she will later be happy to look at and show off. I would suggest she dress up at least a few times for pictures during a pregnancy… you’ll both be glad you did someday. My ex always seemed to try to catch me at the worst possible moments (even took one of me standing in the bathroom throwing up during the first month, all dressed up in long johns and my hair unbrushed…that was just cruel. It’s really not a good time to be insensitive.
    Love your website!
    🙂

  19. CobyLyn says:

    You ROCK!! Glad I found you guys (via Jason Freeny post on the Baby Butt Floss nappies)

  20. CobyLyn says:

    And best of luck with your weight loss/sex with wife endeavour/and being a daddy!

  21. Meagan O says:

    Great read! I love everything thus far including this! I can totally relate! My husband and I we just had our first fledgling 6 months ago!!
    Im -still- trying to shed the weight (10 pounds off so far 20-30 to go).

    Thank you for writing this it made me chuckle and remind myself to be a little kinder to me myself and I 🙂

    • charlie says:

      Meagan, you’ve just won the “MY FAVORITE COMMENT OF THE DAY AWARD”.

      Triwizard Cup Award for Best Comment of Today

      It’s so nice to hear that you liked reading the post and that we can relate. Both Andy and I love hearing people they’ve had the same experiences. 🙂

  22. Ashanti says:

    i gained 65lbs with my twin boys and being only 5ft and started at 102lbs, i was a giant ball and i didn’t walk anywhere i rolled or waddled, my husband gained 50lbs “sympathy weight” and we lost together, except he lost it faster than me and looks good and i’m still stuck at 130 🙁 men and crazy metabolism UGH and me and my husband love ur site keep up the good work

    • Chris says:

      Stuck at 130 ? My wife would love to have that problem ! She is struggling to get rid of the body after THREE kids – no time for exercise – she’d be happy to get down to 180 I think… It’s all relative, I guess… And – there’s just more of her to cuddle – we all say…

  23. Ariel says:

    After two kids I promised myself I’d get in shape. I did too! It’s just unfortunate that the shape happens to be round.

  24. Susie says:

    Hello, Charlie. We almost named our second child Charlie. I chickened out. Charlie Sheen was big news back then so we named him Ethan instead lol a bit closer to Dog, I meant God. Any who when I first read your post, I was offended and then I sat back and really thought about it and yes you’re right. Pregnancy weight is ugly. I gained lovely 40 lbs with my baby in 2012, I already got rid of them, thankfully. But I keep remembering the feeling of being blown up like that specially the negative comments, etc. “Are you having twins?” “are you 10 months pregnant?” “Can you still walk/drive like that?, Being pregnant and specially the weight gain is a biatch. Thank You, love the vibe here.

    • charlie says:

      Wait, did you read the article? I’m talking about myself. My wife couldn’t have been more beautiful during her pregnancy. I cheered on every pound by eating myself into oblivion.

  25. Michael says:

    So, you kicked sugar huh? What were your parameters? No added sugar? No any sugar? What about honey? Or cane sugar? What about fructose?

  26. Josh says:

    Brother, do I ever feel where this post is coming from..

    My wife suffered from HG (hyperemesis gravidarum, or “three months of 24 hour vomiting- Morning sickness? HA!”) during her pregnancy, and as a result ended up losing 27 lbs from her pre-pregnancy weight, clearly cementing her in the lead for “Gah I hate her!” mutterings with plenty of ladies (Don’t worry girls, barely being able to keep gatorade down is next season’s big fad diet!)

    I, however, fared not so well.. The empathy was strong with me, and remained so for some time afterward. We joked that I was having my own child, but it’s stuck around long enough that it may have to file for legal emigration status. The “color-blind hippo” comment hits pretty close to home, but thankfully my extended family doesn’t describe my fashion sense quite so vividly.

    About a month ago, I gave up soft drinks, sweet tea and 99.9% of all sugar. I’m a big guy by nature, and a thirsty one at that; I could go through several 2-liters in a few days span without much thought. I usually favored “diet” styles for flavor, but it’s highly unlikely it did me any favors. But after three weeks of abstaining, drinking only water, unsweet black tea and Crystal Light Lemonade (my cheat, if you will) I lost four pounds and regained some angles in my face. Small things, but man, results are an encouragement nobody can fake.

    I don’t miss sweets, particularly.. but there’s days I’d love that carbonated, caffinated fizz in a chilled glass.. oh yes..

    Good luck! Thanks for the laughs!

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