How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

My Wife Just Said… #8

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“Is it wrong that I like making gummy bears have sex?”-Avara

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54 Responses to “My Wife Just Said… #8”

  1. Avara says:

    WHAT?!? Sometimes they just kiss…

  2. Avara says:

    And stop judging me!!!

  3. Paulo says:

    No, I don’t think that’s wrong at all! After all, how do you think there get to be so many in the bag?

  4. Desiree says:

    Oh you are so in for it for posting this… I can just see her face… oh, man, seriously…

  5. Ado says:

    Hi from Twitter. Ok, howling! Your wife is v. funny and the fact that you write down all the stuff she says – priceless. I write the stuff my 6 year old says – I cringe to think what I would do if my husband wrote down all the crud I say! (-:

  6. Eric says:

    Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers on the Earth! Tomorrow is Mothering Sunday here in the United States and I know that eventhough it is celebrated on a different date depending on where you are, I want to greet all mothers on this day!

  7. kmnatisse says:

    I love your wife. Cause I just made a gummy bear “service” my BF. Glad to know there are perverted minds out there.

  8. Babygeddon says:

    And I thought my “Hey look! It’s Paralympics bear!” when I bite off their legs was bad. You win.

  9. QuicksilverNHS says:

    I make them have dirty sex with each other and THEN i bite off their limbs and they have dirty dirty amputee gummy bear sex. And then i bite off their heads and they have filthy disgusting zombie gummy bear sex.

    And then I eat them and growl and make yummy noises while I chew.

    So, I’d say that the above wife-saying is not strange or dirty at all 😀

    • andy says:

      (To everyone else, for any sporting activity) She’s on my team!

      You just can’t go up against dedication and thoroughness like that.

  10. rae jones says:

    I like doing the same thing to the circus animal cookies. Cuz nothing says wild monkey sex like yogurt and sprinkled covered monkeys having sex.

    • charlie says:

      That’s a whole different level of kink. Yogurt and sprinkles animals? Also, gummies are pliable little guys. It’s a little too realistic. LOL…

  11. Roddy says:

    I just about spit my coffee all over my computer screen.

  12. DCM says:

    as funny as this all might be to you, what about if she wrote down everything you said that she found to be humorous. It just seems kinda one sided, like: “look how ridiculous my wife is?” Just saying, it makes it a little uncomfortable.

    • charlie says:

      I’m just going to go ahead and call your bluff by saying: my wife is starting a blog and she intends to do that. Quid pro quo. I say go for it. You’re presupposing I haven’t told her I’m posting these things.

      I’m not saying she’s ridiculous. I’m saying the words coming out of her mouth as near-perfection, comedic genius. This category is an homage.

      And for the record I say a lot of inane, semi-funny and very embarrassing stuff. Game on.

      • CobyLyn says:

        If that is for reals, I can’t wait to sign up for her/their blogs too, keep us updated! :o) Thanks for the loads of laughs guys, and wives!

    • andy says:

      No worries. our wives are both tickled by the amazing response these get. (And have been known to check in on the responses and interaction on them with anticipation, but you didn’t hear that from me). You don’t need to be uncomfortable, they love it, too.

    • Ariel says:

      there’s nothing uncomfortable about it, if they are in a good relationship and can make fun of each other without getting hurt by it that’s fantastic!

  13. alisa says:

    loves the whole wipsite,avara is funny,alisa from amman jordan

  14. Shane says:

    They can roll around together all they like in my stomach 🙂

  15. Kendra says:

    I’m crying I’m laughing so hard. I relate to this very much and for some reason I’ve never embraced it like your wife. I was in the closet on making my gummy bears ‘do things’. Now I feel I can freely let my gummy bears express themselves sexually. It’s liberating.

  16. Crystal says:

    My fiance does it with animal cookies lol!

  17. Kat says:

    If gummy bear sex is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

    Anyway, she’s not alone!

  18. Only if she doesn’t want to end up with Gummy Cubs.

    JJ – The Dude
    Twitter: DudeOfTheHouse

  19. I’m seconding Kat on this! It’s never once passed my mind to do this, but that’s clearly all changed. (I’m not sure whether to say “thank you” or “gah” here!)

  20. Michelle says:

    I do that every single time. I even bite their body parts off, and then I stick them together. Completely normal.

  21. Dave says:

    I’m suspicious of the fact that she said this on 4/20. Hmmmmmmmmmm 😉

  22. Keri says:

    LOL, Yeah Dave. 4/20 Gummy SEX…. HUHM…. :/

  23. Isaac says:

    Just to clarify this is the same woman thats got you on tue bench in the bedroom??
    Put down the gummi bears and tackle the man bear! Come on!

  24. Skye says:

    Maybe it’s a girl thing… I also love doing this.

    Love your site!

  25. Shilpa says:

    has Finn ever walked in on the gummi bears?! how do you explain that? “when a mummi gummi & a daddi gummi love each other very much…”

  26. When you chew more than one at once, they’re gonna Bump Uglies anyway. Why not let them Get it On before they’re getting masticated?
    And please don’t tell me that people eat them one at a time. That’s just Crazy Talk.

  27. Kai says:

    Its like someone found my deep dark secret… Just sayin:)

  28. Nikki says:

    HA! I would leave a gummy Kama Sutra for the waitress at Ryan’s. Or use other foods to make a sacrificial alter with a multitude of other gummies bowing as the sacrifice took place with the sacred toothpick. Decorating the high gummy preistess with sprinkles….

  29. If you have young ones, this might be the closest you get to the real thing…

  30. Fawn says:


    No, it isn’t wrong. Make sure you lick them first so they stick. (eww?)

  31. Agleska says:

    Hilarious, and will be hard to not think about the next time I see a bag in the store.

  32. Natalie says:

    I think I love the comment stream even more than the original post! And no, gummy bear sex is not strange at all. What happens between two consenting gelatin bears is none of my business.

    As a side note, whenever I am reminded of gummy bears, I think about the fact that my mom, a retired elementary school principal, started making vodka soaked gummy bears called ‘Boozie Bears’, a trick she learned from a kid at school. They are rediculously good.

  33. volleyjacket says:

    Avara, a suggestion for times you’re feeling “in the mood” … particularly for something new – Leave a couple bears in a special place, (e.g., on his nightstand) and pose them in a position you’d like to try next.

  34. Yvonne says:

    Avara you haven’t changed a bit lol xx

  35. Amber says:

    I just eat them two at a time do they don’t die alone hee hee

  36. Steve yates says:

    Classic! I’m 38 years old, and my 66 year old father still get great delight in posing the teddy bears in the toy section… Nothing too rude, obvscos of the kids. But childish fun none the less!

  37. Rod says:

    My wife gave up having teddy bears on our bed before I ran out of positions to arrange them in for her to find.

  38. I guess it is, but only if it’s with her. That would be weird.

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